Shaun: Mum, look, what would you say if I told you that over the years Philip's been quite unkind to me? Barbara: Well you weren't always the easiest person to live with. Shaun: Mum, he chased me around the garden with a bit of wood! Barbara: Well yo...
[Dr. Cawley has asked the marshals about their preferred drinks] Teddy Daniels: Soda and ice, please, thanks. Dr. Jeremiah Naehring: Oh. You don't indulge in alcohol? I'm surprised. Isn't it common for men in your profession to imbibe? Teddy Daniels:...
[after Brooks held a knife to Heywood's throat] Andy Dufresne: I just don't understand what happened in there. Heywood: Old man's crazy as a rat in a tin shithouse, is what. Red: Oh Heywood, that's enough out of you! Ernie: I heard he had you shittin...
Head Bull Haig: Dufresne? Get your ass out here boy, you're holding up the show! [no answer] Head Bull Haig: Don't make me come down there or I'll thump your skull for you! [Still no answer. Glaring, Haig stalks down the tier, clipboard in hand. His ...
Don Lockwood: Which of my pictures have you seen? Kathy: I don't remember. I saw one once. Don Lockwood: You saw one once? Kathy: Yes, I think you were dueling and there was a girl - Lina Lamont. But I don't go to the movies much. If you've seen one ...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I know she meant to kill me 'fore the Doc put her to sleep, which how exactly does that work anyhow? Dr. Simon Tam: Safeword. The people who helped me break River out - they had intel that River and the other subjects were bei...
Frank Serpico: You know that I'm totally isolated in the department. I don't have a friend. Chief Sidney Green: Oh, don't give me that bullshit about friends. I've been putting cops away for thirty years. My name's an obscenity to every shithouse wal...
Judge Turpin: Oh yes... such practices. The Geishas of Japan, the concubines of Siam, the catamites of Greece, the harlots of India. I have them all here, drawings of them. Everything you've ever dreamed of doing with a woman. Would you like to see? ...
L.J. Washington: I don't really come from outer space. Jeffrey Goines: Oh. L. J. Washington. He doesn't really come from outer space. L.J. Washington: Don't mock me my friend. It's a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, pa...
Julie: I know I'm pretty and I use it. I just guess I shouldn't have gone to Dr. Brewster's office so late. Dorothy Michaels: Well, no, that's not true. You know, Dr. Brewster has tried to seduce several nurses on this ward, always claiming to be in ...
George Fields: OK, I know this is going to disgust you, Michael, but a lot of people are in this business to make money. Michael Dorsey: You make it out like I'm some flake, George. I am in this business to make money, too. George Fields: Really? Mic...
[as Ryan and Natalie enter the Hilton Miami Airport Hotel] Natalie Keener: How about just not dying alone? Ryan Bingham: Starting when I was 12, we moved each one of my grandparents into a nursing facility. My parents went the same way. Make no mista...
Carl Fredricksen: [Carl, with his house high in the air, opens his door to see who knocked on it. Looking around, he spots Russell] Whaa! Russell: Hi, Mr. Fredricksen! It's me, Russell! Carl Fredricksen: What are you doing out here, kid? Russell: I f...
Tector Gorch: Silver rings. Dutch Engstrom: [upset] "Silver rings", your butt! Them's washers! Damn! Lyle Gorch: Washers. Washers. We shot our way out of that town for a dollar's worth of steel holes! Pike Bishop: They set it up. Lyle Gorch: "They"? ...
Captain: 12:30? AUTO, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship. [Resets the ship back to morning] Captain: Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As a...
Captain of the Winkie Guard: [after the Wicked Witch has melted] She's... She's dead. You killed her. Dorothy: I didn't mean to kill her. Really, I didn't. It's just that he was on fire. Captain of the Winkie Guard: Hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch ...
Wreck-It Ralph: What's going on in this candy-coated heart of darkness? Sour Bill: Nothing... Wreck-It Ralph: Talk! Sour Bill: No! Wreck-It Ralph: I'll lick you. Sour Bill: You wouldn't. Wreck-It Ralph: Oh, yeah? [licks Bill] Sour Bill: Ugh! That's l...
Sally Albright: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side. Harry Burns: That's what drew her to me. Sally Albright: Your dark side? Harry Burns: Sure. Why? Don't you have a dark side? I know, you're probably one of those cheerful people who dot their "i's...
Laurie Juspeczyk: Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a supervillain just so he could get beaten up all the time? Dan Dreiberg: Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked ...
Igor: What is this? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte. The Monster: [off-screen] MMMMMMM! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent. Igor: Who are you talking to? Dr...
[last lines] Charlie Kaufman: I have to go right home. I know how to finish the script now. It ends with Kaufman driving home after his lunch with Amelia, thinking he knows how to finish the script. Shit, that's voice-over. McKee would not approve. H...
