Mom: [Driving Mason Jr. home from school] Your teacher said you're behind on your homework assignments. Mason: No, I did them, they were just sitting in my backpack. Mom: So, why didn't you turn them in? Mason: She never asked for them. Mom: Well, ho...
Randal Graves: Oh what, what's with you, man? You haven't said anything for like 20 minutes. What the hell's your problem? Dante Hicks: This life. Randal Graves: This life? Dante Hicks: Why do I have this life? Randal Graves: Have some chips, you'll ...
Piscano's Brother-in-Law: You gotta lay down the law, otherwise they're gonna make a fool out of you. Artie Piscano: They're not gonna make a fool out of me. I write it all down in this book. Every fucking nickel, it goes down right here. Receipts, b...
[in a Chinese restaurant] Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3: [singing] Deck the harrs with boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra. Chop Suey Palace Owner: No, no, not 'ra ra ra ra', 'la la la la'! Try again. Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3: D...
[Ralphie is visiting Santa at the department store, only he can't remember what he wanted] Santa Claus: How about a nice football? Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Football? Football? What's a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out 'footb...
Shavonne Wright: What the hell are you talking about girl? Kaye Faulkner: Didn't even think about it did you? Shavonne Wright: Gilligan's Island? Kaye Faulkner: It's what called a male pornographic fantasy. Shavonne Wright: [laughs] Oh my haha Kaye F...
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Do you feel alone right now? Donnie: Oh, I don't know. I mean, I'd like to believe I'm not, but I just... I've just never seen any proof, so I... I just don't debate it anymore, you know? It's like I could spend my whole life deba...
The Joker: [over the PA] Tonight you're all gonna be part of a social experiment. Through the magic of diesel fuel and ammonium nitrate, I'm ready right now to blow you all sky high. Anyone attempts to get off their boat, you all die. Each of you has...
Tony Wendice: What makes you think he came in by this door? Chief Insp. Hubbard: His shoes. Tony Wendice: His shoes? Chief Insp. Hubbard: The ground was soaking wet last night. If he'd come in by the garden, he'd have left mud all over the carpet. As...
Count Dracula: I am Dracula. Renfield: Oh, it's really good to see you. I don't know what happened to the driver and my luggage and... Well, and with all this, I thought I was in the wrong place. Count Dracula: I bid you welcome. [Dracula goes up the...
Mr. X: I thought I heard a stranger. We've got chicken tonight. Strangest damn things. They're man made. Little damn things. Smaller than my fist. But they're new. Hi, I'm Bill. Henry Spencer: Hello there. I'm Henry. Mrs. X: Henry works at LaPelle's ...
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: [after taking credit for Kimble's saving of his partner and declaring all prisoners dead] Oh. Wow. Gee Whiz. Looky here. You know we're always fascinated when we find leg irons with no legs in them. Who held the keys sir...
Kaffee: Colonel, the 6am was first flight off the base? Col. Jessep: Yes. Kaffee: There wasn't a flight that left seven hours earlier and landed at Andrews Air Force Base at 2am? Judge Randolph: Lieutenant, I think we've covered this, haven't we? Kaf...
Dory: I saw a boat. Marlin: You did? Dory: Yeah, it went by not too long ago. Follow me. [few seconds later] Dory: Would you quit it? What, the ocean isnt big enough for you or something like that? You got a problem? Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya? You wan...
Gaear Grimsrud: Where is pancakes house? Carl Showalter: What? Gaear Grimsrud: We stop at pancakes house. Carl Showalter: What... are you nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. Gotta go to a place I can get a shot and a beer, steak, maybe, not more fuc...
Golde: Oh, you're finally here. Come, let's go home now. Tevye: I want to see Motel's new machine. Golde: You can see it some other time. Let's go home now. Tevye: Quiet, woman, before I get angry! Because when I get angry, even flies don't dare to f...
Serge X.: There's more. M. Gustave: Okay... Serge X.: To the story. M. Gustave: I get it, go on. Serge X.: I was the official witness in Madame D's presence to the creation of a second will to be executed only in the event of her death by murder. M. ...
Trip: Hey, yo, nigger, that's my spot, see. Cpl. Thomas Searles: If you don't mind, there's more sufficient reading light here. Trip: Oooh, I like it when niggers talk good as white folks! Cpl. Thomas Searles: I'd be happy to teach you. It would be m...
Nicholas: So, you've played recently? New Member Ted: Oh, about a year ago. I was working in Los Angeles. Nicholas: I hear the London office is very good, too. It just sounds like a lot of fantasy, role-playing nonsense. New Member Ted: [leans in] Yo...
Sloth: Mama! Mama Fratelli: Come to mama Slothy, come on hmm? Sloth: Mama, you've been bad. Mama Fratelli: Oh, Slothy. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained up in that room but it was for your own good. Sloth: Yeah! Mama Fratelli: You reme...
Olivia: Andrew, would you like to see Sam's ice skating tape? Sam: Mom, no. Andrew Largeman: Absolutely. Olivia: She was so ahead of her time. She could have gone to the Olympics. Sam: No! No, no, no. I couldn't have. Olivia: Yes you could have! Don'...
