Hazel Grace Lancaster: Is it really 1 A.M.? Augustus Waters: Is it? Yeah, yes, it is. Augustus Waters: [laugh] I should probably go to sleep. Augustus Waters: [Exhale] Okay. Hazel Grace Lancaster: Okay. Augustus Waters: Okay. Hazel Grace Lancaster: O...
Raoul Duke: Don't take any guff from these swine. If you have any trouble, remember, you can always send a telegram to the Right People. Dr. Gonzo: Yeah, Explaining my Position. Some asshole wrote a poem about that once. Probably good advice if you h...
Otto: You know your problem? You don't like winners. Archie: Winners? Otto: Yeah. Winners. Archie: Winners, like North Vietnam? Otto: Shut up. We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie! Archie: [going into a cowboy-like drawl] I'm tellin' ya baby, they ki...
Rhomann Dey: He said that he may be an... "a-hole". But he's not, and I quote, "100% a dick". Nova Prime Rael: Do you believe him? Rhomann Dey: Well, I don't know if I believe anyone is 100% a dick... Nova Prime Rael: Do you believe he's here to help...
Chuckie: [impersonating Will at a job interview] You're suspect! Yeah, you! I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the shit you tried to pull today you can bet I'll be looking into you. Now the business we have, heretofore, you ...
Sean: I knew you before you were a mathematical god, when you were pimple-faced and homesick and didn't know what side of the bed to piss on! Lambeau: Yeah, you were smarter than me then and you're smarter than me now. So don't blame me for how your ...
Vincent Mancini: You like to gamble? Why don't we go to Atlantic City? My town. I'll show you how to gamble. Grace Hamilton: Yeah, but I like to win. How will I know what numbers to pick? Vincent Mancini: Do I look okay like a guy who's gonna lose?
Vince Walker: I met him once. Collins: You mean Gandhi? Vince Walker: Yeah, in South Africa, a long time ago. I wonder if he'll recognize me. Collins: What was he like? Vince Walker: He had a full head of hair then. We were a bit like college student...
Mouth: You know, I just want to say thank you. For offering to save my life. Stef: Wow! Thank you it's a real moment. You know your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up. Mouth: Yeah and your looks kind of pretty. When your face ...
Andrew Largeman: But Kenny, the last time I saw you, you were doing coke lines off a urinal. Kenny: I know, I know, man... but it was time for me to grow up, you know? Plus, I wasn't making shit at that fish market. No one knew who I was, I couldn't ...
Yuri Hayakawa: Makoto! Makoto Konno: What? Yuri Hayakawa: Did you decide between sciences and humanities? Makoto Konno: No. You? Yuri Hayakawa: Nope. Makoto Konno: That's good. Yuri Hayakawa: Can't make up your mind right away, yeah? Who knows what'l...
Sheriff: [shows Tuco the wanted poster] So you're an honest farmer. You recognize this man? Tuco: Me? Sheriff: Yeah, it's you! Tuco: Hey, who said so, huh? You can't even read! [the Sheriff rolls up the poster] Tuco: Roll it up, roll it up! I'll give...
Harry Potter: It was you! Ron Weasley: Well, yeah. Obviously. Harry Potter: And the doe. That was you as well. Ron Weasley: No. I reckoned it was you. Harry Potter: My Patronus is a stag. Ron Weasley: Right. [raising his arms up and fake antlers with...
Ron: Let me get this strait. Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban to come after you? Harry: Yeah. Hermione: But they'll catch Black, won't they? I mean, everyone's looking for him. Ron: Sure. Except no one's ever broken out of Azkaban before, and he...
Officer Devereux: Hey, you know we've been looking for you two guys for a long time. You guys are always leaving the water running whenever you break in, now we know each and every house you guys have hit. Marv: Yeah. But remember, we're the wet band...
Lynda: Now when we get inside, Annie will distract Lindsey and we go upstairs to the first bedroom on the right. Got it? Bob: First I rip your clothes off... Lynda: Don't rip my blouse, it's expensive you idiot! Bob: Then I rip my clothes off, then I...
Sergeant JT Sanborn: Maybe you shouldn't take this down. You know, we get a lot of mortars at night. You know, the plywood on the windows help with the lateral frag coming through. That's why it's up there. Staff Sergeant William James: Yeah, well, i...
Harold: Maude? Maude: Yeah? Harold: [pulls the stamped coin from the arcade out of his pocket] Here. Maude: A gift! [reads the engraving] Maude: "Harold loves Maude."... and Maude loves Harold. This is the nicest gift I've received in years. [she thr...
George: What's the matter with you, then? Ringo: It's his grandfather. I can tell he doesn't like me. It's cause I'm little. George: Ah, you've got an inferiority complex, you have. Ringo: Yeah, I know, that's why I play the drums - it's me active co...
[last lines] Harry Potter: I've been thinking about something Dumbledore said to me. Hermione Granger: What's that? Harry Potter: That even though we've got a fight ahead of us, we've got one thing that Voldemort doesn't have. Ron Weasley: Yeah? Harr...
[Tom is awakened in the middle of the night by his phone ringing] Tom Stall: [sleepily] Hello? Richie Cusack: Hey, Bro-him. You're still pretty good with the killing. That's exciting. Tom Stall: [quickly waking up] Richie? Richie Cusack: [chuckles] Y...
