Joy: Hey, look! The golden gate bridge! Isn't that great? It's not made out of solid gold like we thought, which is kind of a disappointment, but still! Fear: I sure am glad you told me earthquakes are a myth Joy, otherwise i'd be terrified right now...
Elle Driver: Bill tells me you had a Hanzo sword once. Budd: Yeah. Elle Driver: [examining the Bride's sword] How does this one compare to that one? Budd: If you're gonna compare a Hanzo sword, you compare it to every other sword ever made... that wa...
Diner Fight Guy 1: The fuck is wrong with you, man? You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know? Dave Lizewski: The three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches? And you wanna know what's wrong with me...
Dave Lizewski: Jesus, guys, doesn't it bug you? Like thousand of people wanna be Paris Hilton and nobody wants to be Spiderman. Marty: Yeah, what's with that? She has like no tits at all. Todd: Maybe it's the porn tape, he doesn't have a porn tape. M...
Tracy: Let's fool around, it'll take your mind off it. Isaac Davis: Hey, how many times a night can you, how, how often can you make love in an evening? Tracy: Well, a lot. Isaac Davis: Yeah! I can tell, a lot. That's, well, a lot is my favorite numb...
Young Patsy: Hey, stop by for you later! Young Noodles: Yeah, but knock here on the john first! My old man's praying, and my old lady's crying, and the light's turned off. What the hell should I go home for? At least in here I can read...
Jules: You remember Antoine Roccamora, half black, half Samoan, used to call him Tony Rocky Horror? Vincent: Yeah, maybe. Fat, right? Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat, I mean he got a weight problem. What's the nigger gonna do? ...
Jody: Lance! The goddamn phone's ringing! Lance: [getting up to answer the phone] I can hear it. Jody: I thought you told those fucking assholes never to call here this late! Lance: Yeah, I told them. And that is exactly what I'm going to tell this f...
Joe Miller: What do you love about the law, Andrew? Andrew Beckett: I... many things... uh... uh... What I love the most about the law? Joe Miller: Yeah. Andrew Beckett: It's that every now and again - not often, but occasionally - you get to be a pa...
John Mason: Are you sure you're ready for this? Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best. John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen. John Mason: Reall...
Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max? Max Fischer: The secret? Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out. Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest...
Pete: It's four in the fucking morning! Shaun: It's Saturday! Pete: No, it's not. It's fucking Sunday. And I've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours 'cos every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! Now can you see why I'm S...
Andy Dufresne: I have no enemies here. Red: Yeah? Wait a while. Word gets around. The Sisters have taken quite a likin' to you. Especially Boggs. Andy Dufresne: I don't suppose it would help if I told them that I'm not homosexual. Red: Neither are th...
Stan: Hey you guys I found the clitoris. I think I can get Wendy to like me again. Cartman: Yeah I guess all's well that end's well. We can go home now. You dipshit!
Knives Chau: Is Scott here? Wallace Wells: Uh, you know what... [Scott jumps through the window] Wallace Wells: He just left. Knives Chau: Really? [Scott reaches back in and grabs his jacket] Wallace Wells: Yeah... sorry. [Scott runs away behind Kniv...
Marlon: Where the hell's Fiji? Near Florida? Truman: [pointing to golf ball] See here? Marlon: Yeah. Truman: This is us... [guides finger halfway around ball] Truman: and all the way around here... FIJI. You can't get any further away before you star...
[after the initial shootout that kills Gloansy and Dez] Police Captain: I don't know if we're dealing with some kind of a fucking genius here, but security... Security is saying they got hit by cops. Dino Ciampa: Cops? Police Captain: Yeah. Two cops,...
Eddie Valiant: So why come to me? I'm the one who took the pictures of your wife. Roger Rabbit: Yeah, and you're also the one who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Valiant & Valiant. E...
Wichita: [playing Monopoly] Ooh! Free parking... Little Rock: Yeah. Wichita: -which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland. Columbus: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No- no Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gea...
Rachel Hansen: You know, my friends are all in love with you. You know, it's like we said. Plenty of other fish in the sea. Tom: [Looks at a group of twelve year old girls who wave at him and giggle] Thanks. But, uh, those are guppies. Rachel Hansen:...
R.E.T.R.O. White: Flight, we are looking at a typhoon warning on the edge of the prime recovery zone. Gene Kranz: Say again, RETRO? R.E.T.R.O. White: Flight, we are looking at a typhoon warning on the edge of the prime recovery zone. Now, this is jus...
