Alfred, Macy janitor: Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.
Linus: The last guy they caught cheating in here? Benedict not only sent him up for 10 years, he had the bank seize his house and then he bankrupted... Rusty, Linus: -his brother-in-law's tractor dealership. Rusty: Yeah, I heard.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I know him. I know him! He's my boss! He's my unholy, disgusting pig of a boss! Joanna: He's not THAT disgusting. Peter Gibbons: He represents all that is soulless and wrong! And you slept with him!
Owen: I'm to drive you to Wichita to catch a train? Del: Yeah, we'd appreciate it. Owen: Train don't run out of Wichita... unlessin' you're a hog or a cattle. [Clears his throat] Owen: People train runs out of Stubbville.
The Wolf: You're... Jimmie, right? This is your house? Jimmie: Sure is. The Wolf: I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems. Jimmie: Good, we got one. The Wolf: So I heard. May I come in? Jimmie: Uh, yeah, please do.
Jennifer: This place gives me the creeps! Did you know that the books are blank? David: What? Jennifer: Yeah, I was in the library and I looked, and they have covers and there's nothing inside of them. David: What were you doing in a library? Jennife...
Charlie: My Aunt Helen has said I should be a writer, but I don't know what I'd write about. Sam: You could write about us. Patrick: Yeah! Call it 'Slut and the Falcon'. Make us solve crimes.
Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody. Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you Raymond? Raymond: Yeah. Charlie: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago!
Max Fischer: How much are you worth, by the way? Herman Blume: I don't know. Max Fischer: Over ten million? Herman Blume: Yeah, I guess so. Max Fischer: Good, good. Herman Blume: Why? Max Fischer: Cause we're gonna need all of it.
Royal: So, what do you think of this big old black buck moving in up there? Richie: Who? Royal: Henry Sherman. You know him? Richie: Yeah. Royal: Is he worth a damn? Richie: I believe so.
Richie: And I heard about Eli. Margot: I know. Poor Eli. Anyway, we mostly just talked about you. Richie: You did? Margot: Yeah. I guess that was the attraction, if you know what I mean.
Jeff: What about the knife and saw I saw him wrapping up in newspaper? Lt. Doyle: Do you own a saw? Jeff: Well... yeah. At home in my garage, I keep... Lt. Doyle: How many people did you cut up with it?
Shaun: As Bertrand Russell once said, "The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation." I think we can all appreciate the relevance of that now. Liz: Was that on a beer mat? Shaun: Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold. Liz: I won't say anything. ...
[last lines] Teddy Daniels: You know, this place makes me wonder. Chuck Aule: Yeah, what's that, boss? Teddy Daniels: Which would be worse - to live as a monster, or to die as a good man? [gets up and walks off] Chuck Aule: Teddy?
Lou Chambers: What you gonna buy, Jakey boy? Jacob Mitchell: I'm gonna buy me a truck. Lou Chambers: No, fuck that. Get something classy - Trans-Am! Jacob Mitchell: Yeah, in my wildest fuckin' dreams a Trans-Am!
Johnny Hooker: Hey, where's June? Loretta: She quit. I'm filling in for a couple of days, till I can get a train outta here. Johnny Hooker: Yeah? Where ya going? Loretta: I don't know. Depends on which train I get on.
Gaila: Jim, I think I love you. James T. Kirk: That is so weird. Gaila: Lights. Computer: Lights on. Gaila: Did you just say, "That is so weird"? James T. Kirk: Yeah, I did, but...
The Mole: You MUST shut of the alarms! I fucking hate guard dogs! Cartman: Yeah, I heard you the first time you British piece of shit. [gets shocked by the V-chip] Cartman: Owww!
Taylor's Father: [after Toby and Taylor are caught making out in a diner] You better watch him before he gets some poor innocent girl in trouble! Bree Osbourne: Yeah, well make sure she doesn't ruin some poor innocent boy's life!
Alex Goran: What a weasly prick. Natalie Keener: Yeah, but what does that make me? Someone who falls for a prick. Alex Goran: We all fall for the prick. Pricks are spontaneous, they're unpredictable and they're fun. And then we're surprised when they...
V: [as "The Count of Monte Cristo" ends] Did you like it? Evey Hammond: Yeah. But it made me feel sorry for Mercedes. V: Why? Evey Hammond: Because he cared more about revenge than he did about her.
