Quotes of: Occur Keyword

If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.

It Occurred to Me

If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt.

It Occurred to Me

I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops.

It Occurred to Me

Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his first name.

It Occurred to Me

If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them.

It Occurred to Me

To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle.

It Occurred to Me

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.

Stephen Leacock

The fact - not theory - that evolution has occurred and the Darwinian theory as to how it occurred have become so confused in popular opinion that the distinction must be stressed.

George Gaylord Simpson

It never occurs to her that she will not be a writer and only occasionally does it occur to her, depressingly, that she is going to grow into a woman, not a man.

Jean Stafford

The creation of the world did not occur at the beginning of time, it occurs every day.

The Captive & The Fugitive

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.

It Occurred to Me

I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too.

It Occurred to Me

I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff.

It Occurred to Me

I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side.

It Occurred to Me

To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive.

It Occurred to Me

I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob.

It Occurred to Me

A banker is a man who will lend you the short sleeve shirt off his back and demand a long sleeve one in return.

It Occurred to Me

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines.

It Occurred to Me

For some unknown reason, success usually occurs in private, while failure occurs in full view.

The Sweetest Thing

In the simplest terms, inflation occurs when there's too much money in the system. On the flip side, deflation occurs when there are too few dollars in circulation.

Robert Kiyosaki

This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep.

It Occurred to Me