Quotes of: Nonsensical Keyword

There are days when I don’t know how I live with myself. Those days are Sundays through Saturdays.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I left Mermaid’s Bar and Grill about 2:00 am, and fishtailed out of the parking lot.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Freedom tastes like strawberries, vanilla, and blueberries. And it smells like my armpits. Huff it up, America.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The wind held the door open for me, and I appreciated it. Who knew the breeze was such a southern gentleman?

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through the streets.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The judge said he was going to throw the book at me. I hoped it was an ebook in the cloud, and not a heavy dictionary.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Crying about the economy is a strategy. It won’t get you a job, but it will keep Kleenex in business.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

My cat’s name is Mr. Dog, and My penis’ name is Mr. Beaver. Ah, but that’s life, no?

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

My name is Meow. At least that’s what my cat calls me. But you can call me after nine.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Helping others without anticipating or expecting others to help you in return, that is the path to spiritual prosperity.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I’m in the Just Under A Decade club. That’s how long it took me to get a four-year degree.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The only thing better than word of mouth is words of mouth. Give me at least two words.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Competition is healthy. Especially when all your competitors are unhealthy, and hopefully sick and absent during the competition.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The pros and cons of being a criminal: Pros—are cons that haven’t been caught. Cons—are former pros that made a mistake.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I’m a dyslexic dancer. Instead of leading the women, I follow. Quick, cab driver, follow that woman!

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

My name is Mr. Murderedscott. But if you want to know what happened to Scott, I didn’t kill him.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I am the melted cheese of desire. Please, feel free to double dip.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I want to open up a School of Cannibalism. It’ll be a feeder school for top law schools.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Necessity is the mother of invention. She’s also my mother, though Invention and I have different dads.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense