It always pisses me off when I’m calling in to some Morning Zoo radio show to promote God-only-knows what—probably this book, so get ready, I’m comin’—when the DJ actually tries to convince me that there are as many female comics as male on...
The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your ...
Grown-up people find it difficult to believe really wonderful things, unless they have what they call proof. But children will believe almost anything, and grown-ups know this. That is why they tell you that the earth is round like an orange, when yo...
The person in life that you will always be with the most, is yourself. Because even when you are with others, you are still with yourself, too! When you wake up in the morning, you are with yourself, laying in bed at night you are with yourself, walk...
Would you like me to court you?” the earl finally asked. YES. She smoothed her hands over her skirts to keep from confessing it aloud. “I would like to know if you are,” she replied. “Or what your intentions are, if you aren’t.” “My int...
No man ever followed his genius till it misled him. Though the result were bodily weakness, yet perhaps no one can say that the consequences were to be regretted, for these were a life in conformity to higher principles. If the day and the night are ...
Faith is a light. You could be experiencing one of the darkest nights of the soul, lost, confused with no answers, no guidance. Those are all dark thoughts that we have had when we felt the most alone. But we escaped because we believed. That's the p...
Miette: One? [One grunts] Miette: You asleep? [One breathes deeply and mumbles] Miette: What did you do before? One: One sailor. Harpooned Whales. One night [pauses] One: One hear whales singing. After [gestures throwing of harpoon] One: always alway...
Elias: Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal! Randal Graves: No sir. They are not a gift from God. They are an unholy curse from the beast we call the Desolate One. Elias: I don't r...
Vincent: Look in the mirror. Paper towels, clean cab. Limo company some day. How much you got saved? Max: That ain't any of your business. Vincent: Someday? Someday my dream will come? One night you will wake up and discover it never happened. It's a...
[Bela Lugosi answers the door on Halloween night wearing his Dracula costume] Children: Trick or treat! [At the sight of Dracula, all but one little boy scream and run away] Bela Lugosi: Aren't you scared, little boy? I'm going to drink your blood! T...
M. Gustave: How does one come by front row aisle seats for a first night at the Opera Toscana with one day's notice? How does one arrange a private viewing of the tapestry collection at the Royal Saxon Gallery? How does one secure a corner table at C...
Walter Burns: Bruce, I, uh... let me get this straight. I must have misunderstood you. You mean you're taking the sleeper today and then getting married tomorrow? Bruce Baldwin: Oh, well, it's not like that. Walter Burns: Well, what's it like? Hildy ...
Inspector Frank Butterman: I used to believe in the immutable word of the Law. That is until the night Mrs. Butterman was taken from me. You see no-one loved Sandford more than her - she was head of the Women's Institute, chair of the floral committe...
Seamus Finnigan: Me mam didn't want me to come back this year. Harry Potter: Why not? Seamus Finnigan: [sarcastically] Let me see... because of you! The Daily Prophet's been saying a lot of things about you, Harry. About Dumbledore as well. Harry Pot...
Professor McGonagall: Nothing, I repeat, nothing gives a student the right to walk about the school at night. Therefore, as punishment for your actions, 50 points will be taken. Harry: 50? [Ron and Hermione also looking shocked, Draco smirking] Profe...
[Cooper is sitting at a parent/teacher meeting with the principal and one of Murph's teachers who wants to punish Murph for believing in the Apollo mission to the moon] Ms. Kelly: Murph got into a fistfight with several of her classmates over this Ap...
Dog: So we've got a bit of a problem, ain't we? In fact, this is a bit more than a bit of a problem. I'd say it's the Mount fucking Everest of problems! And the reason it's such a fucking monstrosity of a problem is, *you haven't got the first idea w...
Constance Harraway: You wanna tell me what's up? David Gale: Nothing. Everything. Something profoundly stupid happened last night. Constance Harraway: I hope you used a condom. [David looks at Constance] Constance Harraway: Oh Jesus Christ, David. Wa...
[from the 30th Anniversary Edition - additional scenes] Darlene Davies: So you don't think they'll find some kind of virus, or germ? Reverend John Hicks: No. Those creatures were demons, creatures of Satan inhabiting the bodies of our dead. And the d...
Helmut Grokenberger: [Yoyo and Helmut happen to be wearing markedly similar winter hats] We have the same... we have the same hat. Yoyo: What? Helmut Grokenberger: The same hat. Yoyo: No, no no, mine's different. Helmut Grokenberger: Oh no, it's the ...
