there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too clever, I only let him out at night sometimes when everybody's asleep. I say, I know that you're there, so don't be sad. then I put him back, but he's singing a little in there, I haven...
What I mean is, lots of time you don't know what interests you most till you start talking about something that doesn't interest you most. I mean you can't help it sometimes. What I think is, you're supposed to leave somebody alone if he's at least b...
Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service. Shut up. Thank you. Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy. Hope your diodes rot. Thank you. Have a nice day. Stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. It is my pleasure...
Bye-bye. Nice knowing you. But if you are waiting for that perfect idea to strike like lightning during a dust storm (I live in New Mexico), you could be waiting a long time. Ideas are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I can’t walk to the bathroom without be...
… not my own opinion, but my wife’s: Yesterday, when weary with writing, I was called to supper, and a salad I had asked for was set before me. ‘It seems then,’ I said, ‘if pewter dishes, leaves of lettuce, grains of salt, drops of water...
Cop At Scene: Hey, Detective. Nice entrance. Graham: Fuck you. [to Detective Carr] Graham: Hey. Detective Carr: You okay? Graham: I'm freezing. Detective Carr: Shit. I heard it might snow. Graham: Get outta here. Detective Carr: That's what I heard. ...
Flirting Executive: Hello Mrs. Rothstein, how are you? [kisses her hand] Flirting Executive: You're one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen, you're a lucky man Mr. Rothstein. Ace Rothstein: [hesitant] Thank you, thanks for that compliment. Ace ...
Mr. Parker: [to Mother] You know, Zudock just bought one of those brand new green, plastic trees. Tree Man: Oh no! Mr. Parker: Darn thing looked like it was made of green pipe cleaners. Hee hee hee hee. Mother: It's a very nice tree. Tree Man: [quick...
Kaffee: Excuse me, sorry I'm late. Capt. Whitaker: I'm sure you don't have a good excuse, so I won't force you to come up with a bad one. Kaffee: Thank you, Isaac, that's nice of you. Capt. Whitaker: Sit-down, this first one's for you. You're moving ...
Nemo: Are you all right? Dory: [exasperated] I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I, I can't remember... and I can't remember... Nemo: It's OK, it's OK. I'm looking for somebody too. Hey, We can look to...
[at the District Attourney's convention] Dr. Gonzo: I saw these bastards in Easy Rider, but I didn't believe they were real. Not like this, man, not hundreds of them. Raoul Duke: They're actually pretty nice people once you get to know them. Dr. Gonz...
Fred Weasley: Nice try Harry, but not good enough Harry: Come on guys, I'm trying to get to Hogsmeade Fred Weasley, George Weasley: We know George Weasley: If you'll stop squirming, we have a better way... Harry: Guys, come on... Fred Weasley: Awwh,...
Gillespie: How much they pay you to do their police work? Tibbs: A hundred and sixty-two dollars, and thirty-nine cents per week. Gillespie: A hundred and sixty-two dollars and thirty-nine cents a week? Well boy! Sam, you take him outside but treat h...
Col. Hans Landa: [to a bound and blindfolded Lt. Aldo] You've had a nice long run, Aldo. Alas, you're now in the hands of the SS. [raises hands in a dramatic manner] Col. Hans Landa: My hands, to be exact. And they've been waiting a long time to touc...
The Bride: [doorbell rings] Hello, can I help you? Karen Kim: Hello, I'm Karen Kim, I'm the hospitality manager of the hotel. I have a welcome gift from the management. The Bride: Oh, that's nice. [drops pregnancy test, bends down to get it ] The Bri...
[talking about her ex-boyfriend] Natalie: He says no one's gonna fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end. Prime Minister: Ah! You know, um, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered. Natal...
[Taking the gifts from the Three Wise Men and pushing them out the door] Brian's mother: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time...
Bob: It gets a whole lot more complicated when you have kids. Charlotte: It's scary. Bob: The most terrifying day of your life is the day the first one is born. Charlotte: Nobody ever tells you that. Bob: Your life, as you know it... is gone. Never t...
Kelly: But listen, let's all go out for a drink sometimes. Yeah? John: Yeah, yeah. Kelly: You know, call me, okay? John: Yeah, okay. Kelly: Alright. Listen, I'm under Evelyn Waugh. Shh, okay? Charlotte: [after Kelly leaves] Evelyn Waugh? Evelyn Waugh...
Cowboy: Howdy. Adam Kesher: Howdy to you. Cowboy: Beautiful evening. Adam Kesher: Yeah. Cowboy: Sure wanna thank you for coming all the way up here to see me from that nice little hotel downtown. Adam Kesher: No problem. What's on your mind? Cowboy: ...
Paul House: Well, what do you buy a woman who has everything? Lillian House: We already own twin cemetery plots. Larry Lipton: I always think a Bentley is in good taste. Or, you could go the route I did and buy her a set of handkerchiefs. Carol Lipto...
