You know the phrase 'Jesus laughed' isn't ever used in the Gospels. So, most people walk away with the idea that Jesus is a pretty serious guy, pretty sour faced most of the time, pretty upset at what's going on around Him.
I was a lawyer for 10 years - a short time, but it molded me into who I am. My clients were little people fighting big corporations, so it was a natural thing to not only represent the little guy but also to pull for him - it's the American way.
I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up. I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
I actually met Deadmau5 for the first time on the red carpet in Hollywood for the Grammys. I was there with my daughter, and he introduced himself to me. He said, 'Hey, I'm from Toronto.' I had a little conversation with him, and then I realized I'm ...
I was miserable in West Side Story. They really miscast me. I came from the Midwest; what they really needed was a guy that was street smart. The first time I saw the movie, I had to walk out. I looked like the biggest fruit that ever walked on to fi...
It's my job, first and foremost, to take care of the football. Guys work their tails off. That's Football 101. From the time you play youth ball to high school, college, pro, every level, that's the starting point for every quarterback. You have to t...
The idea of trust-fund guys who live in Brooklyn in their 30s is really interesting to me. There's a time and a place where that kind of bohemian lifestyle is appropriate, soon after college, in your 20s. But there are people still living that many y...
I grew up in the South, in New Orleans, where guys torture you all the time. So I didn't really grow up on the self-esteem campaign. When you were lousy at something, they told you you were lousy, and they told you how to fix it.
People think SEALs are cold-blooded, heartless, wound-up, brainwashed killers. They imagine you can just point a SEAL in a direction and say, 'Go kill.' The truth is you're talking about a bunch of kind-hearted, jovial guys. The only thing that separ...
Becky: Fuck, I had to take a fuckin' order off a guy I blew after Junior Prom, once. Randal Graves: Yeah, I've waited on your brother, too.
Albrecht: You're the guy that murdered Tin-Tin. Eric Draven: He was already dead. He died a year ago the moment he touched her. They're all dead. They just don't know it yet.
Albrecht: Great. A guy shows up looking like a mime from Hell and you lose him right out in the open. Well, at least he didn't do that walking against the wind shit, I hate that.
Ace Rothstein: I want you to exit this guy off the premises, I want you to exit him off his feet and I want you to use his head to open the fucking door.
Brock Rumlow: Whoa, big guy. I just want you to know, Cap, this isn't personal! [tries to attack Rogers... KO] Steve Rogers: It kind of feels personal.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Points out Alien graffiti] This is basically a guy, and there's 3 humans here, basically trying to make a warning, you know, saying "I kill 3 humans, watch out for me."
Michelle Burroughs: Watch them fly... away Pickford: Hey you guys know what that song is about? Its about the aliens. We're the aliens man, we're the savages. We're the savages man.
George: Eddie. The guys and I were talking, we'd like want to invite you to our card game on Friday night. Would you like that? Only thing is, you can't cut!
Sergeant Prendergast: What did this guy look like? Angie: I don't know, he looked like you except he was taller and he had hair. Det. Jones: [sarcastically] Good description, Angie.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.
[the guys just notice the "additional miles" on the car] Ferris: [to the audience] Here's where Cameron goes berserk. Cameron: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! [Cameron's screams can be heard all across Chicago]
Marge Gunderson: Say, Lou, didya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L2404? Lou: Yah, that's a good one.
