Do not tell me what I think you're going to or I swear to God, I'm going to fly to Brazil and go all black ops on this guy for cheating on you.
Guys hung out all the time. It didn’t mean they were gay. But when you are gay, you automatically think everybody knows and wonder if you’re safe.
If I weren’t married, and I didn’t have a girlfriend, I’d ask that girl out. But what can I do? I’m an honorable guy.
I don’t think much about guys from the past. I’m glad I knew them, but there’s a reason they didn’t make it into my future.
You guys just aren’t fair, between your vampire pheromones and your gorgeous good looks, we humans just don’t stand a chance.
I guess, like some guy once said, if triangles invented a god, the chances are high it would have three sides.
You had to admire a guy who called his own new book a classic before it was published and anyone else had a chance to read it.
Death is a lot like prom - loud, overdone, and although the guy you came with was cool, you never know who'll end up taking you home.
If the guy likes/loves you, he won't care if you are a good kisser or not. He should like you for what you are - not how you kiss.
Some women are just better at knowing what they want, which saves them the trouble of wasting too much time on the wrong guy.
But the thought of New Zealand instantly sent her mind to Watson, the possibly-Australian, possibly-Kiwi, definitely paranormal young fellow with videos of dead guys on his phone.
What did you think of him?" Cade asked. "Give me some credit," Zach said. "Guy’s more full of shit than a duck pond.
What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.
I want to do something different, and make a difference in people’s lives. If everyone jumps off a bridge, I’ll be the guy who built that bridge.
I mean, scamming on guys on the Internet? I thought that was only for forty-year-old divorcees who Photoshop their pictures in an effort to appear younger and thinner.
You know, a cell phone's like a guy; if you don't plug him in every night, charge him good, you got nothing at all.
Poor Chad. Not the country, but the guy. Oh, and the country’s poor too. I feel so bad for Chad. I also feel so bad for Chad.
I’m the sort of guy who will accept blame, if it means being singled out as honest and honorable, and there’s a chance I’ll be rewarded.
I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria.
When I find the guy who torched that forest, I'm going to eat him. And I'm only going to half-cook him first. -Sergeant Schlock
His name is Christian,” he calls back. “Can you believe that? We came all this way so Clara could save a guy named Christian.” “I’m aware of the irony.
