I'm tired of being set upon by crazed Christians one minute and unbridled libertines the next. Girls, I'm going camping.
scary mommy confession #80920 " I invited you into my home as a guest. And you brought my two year old permanent markers and play-doh. next time I visit you, I'm bringing your teenage daughter condoms and crack.
After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It's a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating.
And now I may dismiss my heroine to the sleepless couch, which is the true heroine's portion - to a pillow strewed with thorns and wet with tears. And lucky may she think herself, if she get another good night's rest in the course of the next three m...
It wasn't just my beast's hunger, but Jean-Claude's blood thirst and Richard's craving for flesh. It was all that and the ardeur running through all of it, so that one hunger fed into the next in an endless chain, a snake eating it's own tail, an Our...
Your talent and giftedness as a leader have the potential to take you farther than your character can sustain you. That ought to scare you.
FAIL UP. If something doesn’t go how you planned it, learn from it, do something differently next time. And, by the way, effort deserves credit. Pat yourself on the back!
Alone with my wine and my misery, I was convinced that life was composed of a string of “if only’s” leading from one self-inflicted bungle to the next until at some point, one’s final iteration of the excuse became one’s final utterance, an...
You can’t buy love, it’s true. However, I am offering mine for rent. Buy one year and get the next six months at half price.
Love is like a tall tree standing next to a midget. Well, it was like that, before it just walked away, leaving the midget just standing there, looking taller than normal.
...But there's always suffering, Pudge. Homework or malaria or having a boyfriend who lives far away when there's a good-looking boy lying next to you. Suffering is universal. It's the one thing Buddhists, Christians, and Muslims are all worried abou...
What Uncle Leo XIII never suspected was that his nephew's courage did not come from the need to survive or from a brute indifference inherited from his father, but from a driving need for love, which no obstacle in this world or the next would ever b...
I can FEEL her next to me. This UNION. Of WARMTH. Of CARING. Of the INDESCRIBABLE. As if there were NO PARTING and NEVER could be.
For your next act, please don't pull any rabbits out of my... well, hat." .... He licked playfully at her mouth. "And ya can't call my manhood 'rabbit'. At least give it a manly name I can brag about.
Our relationship is getting serious. I now know she likes Karaoke. Next she’ll tell me she loves coffee. And then she’ll say she loves me—but not as much as she loves coffee.
What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War ... Athena versus Poseidon?" "I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you." "Why?" "Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?
We can get you a throne with snakes. I’ll stand next to you and roar at anybody who fails to grovel. Fear Kate Daniels. She is a mighty and terrible ruler. Grendel can anoint the petitioners with his vomit. It’ll be great . . .
The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed. "See?" Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. "That's how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do just like them.
I had not the least idea of a gamekeeper's occupation being so dangerous - there had never been such a person employed on the Longbourn estate - and just as I had spent half the previous night wondering about Peter, I spent half the next one worrying...
There are so many kinds of time. The time by which we measure our lives. Months and years. Or the time, the time that raises mountains and makes stars. Or all the things that happen between one heartbeat and the next. Its hard to live in all those ki...
We often dream about people from whom we receive a letter by the next post. I have ascertained on several occasions that at the moment when the dream occurred the letter was already lying in the post-office of the addressee.
