You know what an effective deterrent to crime is? Jail! And do you know what kind of criminal penalty actually makes people think twice about committing crimes the next time? The kind that actually comes out of some individual's pocket, not fines tha...
I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up. I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
I wish to clarify that I have absolutely not made a decision regarding my participation in the next Olympics. On a personal level, playing in the Olympics would be a huge honour. However, the Games in Rio are still four years away and I certainly won...
As long as I am winning, people shouldn't care whether my skirt is six inches long or six feet long. How I dress is a very personal thing. It is scary that every time I wear a T-shirt, it becomes a talking point for the next three days.
The next time you check your moves in the mirror and reflect on how special you are, consider that somewhere in this universe or in another parallel universe, your double might be doing the same. This would be the ultimate Copernican Revolution. Not ...
It's not really about the competition. Your biggest challenge in a race is yourself. You're often racing against time. You're frequently running everything through your mind. You're always competing against preconceived ideas. It's not really the per...
I was hoping, actually, that being on the other side of the camera in a scary movie, see how it's filmed and maybe you won't be as scared next time you watch one... didn't really work out! Because I know it's fake, but I just get so into it.
The idea of trust-fund guys who live in Brooklyn in their 30s is really interesting to me. There's a time and a place where that kind of bohemian lifestyle is appropriate, soon after college, in your 20s. But there are people still living that many y...
I was so nervous because I was doing my first film. I didn't want to embarrass myself. I'm an incredibly insecure person, and knowing that I had to go on set in next to nothing, it scared me, but at the same time, I knew it would be a challenge to op...
Pink: I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.
[Batman slams The Joker's head on a table] The Joker: Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next... [Batman slams a fist down on Joker's hand] The Joker: See?
Ricky Walsh: Next, fourteen dumptrucks stolen from a yard in Staten Island. Fourteen! Jesus! Somebody starting a construction company? Joe Lambert: No, it was John's landlady, gonna clean his apartment.
Frank Morris: Tell me, you stopped killing white people? English: Why? Frank Morris: Well, next time I wouldn't turn my back on ya.
Roper: Well, well. One more lovely than the next. [pause] Roper: What'd you have in mind? Tania: Pick one. Roper: I already have. Tania: Wise decision.
Jack Lucas: [on himself, and Parry] "Radio Personality Turns Screwball On Mission From God." I just hope that when they put me away, they find me a place right next to his.
[Large explosion occurs underwater with a small bubble reaching the surface, popping next to Pelican 1. Pelican 2 looks at him, upset] Pelican 2: [Disgusted] Nice. [Flies away]
Ferris: [Hiding on the floor of the taxi while his father is in the car next to him] What's he doing? Sloane: He's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.
Wardaddy: Next German you see with a weapon you rake the dog shit outta him, I don't care if it's a baby with a butter knife in one hand and momma's left titty in the other.
Sipsey: Oh it don't make no kind of sense. Big ol' ox like Grady won't sit next to a colored child. But he eats eggs- shoot right outta chicken's ass!
[last lines] Peter Quill: What should we do next: Something good, something bad? Bit of both? Gamora: We'll follow your lead, Star-Lord. Peter Quill: A bit of both!
Daniel Schorr: [on TV] A staggering 57% of American workers believe there is a very real chance they will be unemployed in the next 5 to 7 years. But what does that matter to a bloated millionaire fat-cat like you?
