Clarissa Saunders: How many times have you heard me say "I'm fed up with politics" and I... no, I let him talk me into staying. Secretary to a leader of little squirts! Why? Because I need the job and a new suit of clothes! Diz Moore: Would you settl...
Jack Skellington: [sung] Well, what the heck, I really did my best/And by God I really tasted something swell, that's right/And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky/And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did/And for the first time sin...
Barbara: These are those four outlines submitted by Universal for an hour series. You needn't bother to read them; I'll tell them to you. The first one is set at a large Eastern law school, presumably Harvard. The series is irresistibly entitled "The...
Hiss: Sire, taxes are pouring in, the jail is full. Oh and good news, Sire. Friar Tuck is in jail. Prince John: [Angry] Friar Tuck? It's Robin Hood I want, you idiot! Oh, I'd give all my gold if I could get my hands on. Did you say, Friar Tuck? Hiss:...
Skinner: [growling] What are you playing at? Linguini: [uncertain] Um, uh... am I still fired? Colette: You can't fire him. Skinner: What? Colette: LeClaire likes it, yeah? She made a point of telling you so. if she write a review to that effect and ...
[after learning of the Doomsday Machine] President Merkin Muffley: But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you *build* such a thing? Ambassador de Sadesky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up...
Terence: We wrote one last night outside the mini mart. Morris called it "Stuart Drives A Comfortable Car" and then like in country songs, you know, in parentheses it says "There's Usually Someone in the Trunk." And, and um, I came up with a tune jus...
Danny Torrance: Mom? Wendy Torrance: Yeah? Danny Torrance: Do you really want to go and live in that hotel for the winter? Wendy Torrance: Sure I do. It'll be lots of fun. Danny Torrance: Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, there's hardly anybody to play with ...
Jöns: It's hell with women and hell without women. No matter how you reason it seems like the logic thing to do is to kill them while it's still fun. Blacksmith Plog: Bickering and swill! Jöns: Screaming babies and diapers full of piss! Blacksmith ...
[after Holmes throws Mary off the train, Watson turns around and sees his wife gone] Sherlock Holmes: It had to be done. She's safe now! In my own defense, I timed it perfectly-! [Watson lunges at him and starts throttling him] Dr. John Watson: Did y...
Johanna: [after Turpin discovers her packing] Sir, a gentleman knocks before entering a lady's room. Judge Turpin: Indeed, he does, but I see no lady. I told myself the sailor was lying, that my Johanna would never betray me, never hurt me so. Johann...
Bishop: [toasting the princes] To the new King of Stormhold. Whichever of you fine fellows it might be. [they acknowledge him and sip their grog. The Bishop chokes and collapses forward, dead] Tertius: Hmm. [Tertius chortles nervously as they eye eac...
Roger: Here's a joke, boy. One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in...
[first lines] Narrator: 1879 - the Civil War is over, and the resulting economic explosion spurs the great migration west. Farmers, ranchers, prospectors, killers, and thieves seek their fortune. Cattle growers turn cow towns into armed camps, with m...
Will Munny: I ain't like that no more. I ain't the same, Ned. Claudia, she straightened me up, cleared me of drinkin' whiskey and all. Just 'cause we're goin' on this killing, that don't mean I'm gonna go back to bein' the way I was. I just need the ...
Keaton: Hey, uh... friend of mine in New York tells me that you know, that you knew Spook Hollis. Redfoot the Fence: The way I hear it, you did time with old Spook. Good man, wasn't he? I used to run dope for him. Too bad he got shivved. Keaton: Yeah...
Gordon Gekko: The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and wha...
[Erik corners the President and his men, and makes a speech at the cameras there] Erik Lehnsherr: You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is diff...
Guido: What is this flash of joy that's giving me new life? Please forgive me sweet creatures; I didn't realize, I didn't know. How right it is to accept you, to love, you... and how simple! Luisa, I feel I've been set free. Everything looks good to ...
[at a seminar, Charlie Kaufman has asked McKee for advice on his new screenplay in which 'nothing much happens'] Robert McKee: Nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day. There's genocide, war, corru...
Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I am pathetic, I am a loser... Robert McKee: So what is the substance of writing? Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I have failed, I am panicked. I've sold out, I am worthless, I... What the fuck am I doing here? What the fu...
