Traffic Cop #2: Hey, is this blood up here on your windshield? Max: Yeah, uh, yeah. I hit a deer. Traffic Cop #1: You hit a deer? Max: Yeah, over on, uh, it was on Slauson. Traffic Cop #1: A South Central deer?
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: [writing to his mother, telling her that he's seen his first negroes amongst those fleeing the south] We fight for men and women whose poetry is not yet written but which will presently be as enviable and as renowned as any.
Gandhi: [in South Africa] You mean you can appoint Mr. Baker as your attorney but you can't walk down the street with him? Kahn: Well, I can, but I risk being kicked into the gutter by someone less holy than Mr. Baker.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge. Don't push me, and I won't push you. Dong le ma?
[Finishing his "Kyle's Mom" song] Cartman: Kyle's Mom... She's a big, fat, fuckin' BIIIIIIIIITCH! Who's a fuckin' bitch? Kyle's Mooooooooom! Yeah! [Notices Kyle's mom standing behind him] Cartman: Oh fuck.
Gregory: I must say, I don't believe I belong here with these rogues. I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average. Cartman: You're a fucking faggot, dude.
Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman. Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy. Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!
Brian Dennehy: Did someone say my name? Stan: Who are you? Brian Dennehy: I'm Brian Dennehy. Kyle: What? No, not fuckin' Brian Dennehy! Stan: Get the fuck out of here! Brian Dennehy: Oh. Bye.
Jimbo Kearn: Oh boy, military action, Ned, we're gonna kill us some goddam Australians! Ned Gerblanski: I think we're fighting Canadians. Jimbo Kearn: Canadians, Australians, what's the difference?
[at a spelling bee] Teacher: The word is "forensics". Kid: Ah, fuck that. Why should we fucking have to spell forensics? [cheers from kids in audience] Kid: S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. Forensics.
Army General: [shouting] You told us that windows 98 would be faster, and more efficient with better access to the internet! Bill Gates: It IS faster! Over five million... [General shoots Bill Gates and everyone cheers]
Mrs. Cartman: [singing "Blame Canada"] And my little boy eric, had my picture on his shelf / And now when he sees me he tells me to go fuck myself!
The Mole: You MUST shut of the alarms! I fucking hate guard dogs! Cartman: Yeah, I heard you the first time you British piece of shit. [gets shocked by the V-chip] Cartman: Owww!
Kyle: Hey, Mole, be careful. The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb? Stan: Man, that kid is fucked up!
[Just finished watching Terrence and Phillip's motion picture] Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet! Cartman: You bet your fuckin' ass it was! Stan: Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrence and Phillip!
Stan: Listen Mr. homeless man, if you don't wanna buy us the tickets and not get your ten bucks and not buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest. Homeless man: Six tickets please!
Stan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy? Chef: Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris. Stan: Huh? Chef: Whoops.
Woman in Theatre: [Terrence And Phillip are singing "Uncle Fucka", and two movie patrons walk out in the middle of the song] What garbage! Man in Theatre: Well, what do you expect, they're Canadian!
Sheila Broslofski: [singing] Blame Canada! Blame Canada! It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along. Blame Canada! Blame Canada! Man in Chorus: [singing] They're not even a real country anyway.
Satan: The time of prophecy is upon us! Saddam Hussein: I love when you get all biblical, Satan! You know exactly how to turn my crank. Satan: No, I'm being serious!
I grew up in Deptford in south London, and at that time I used to wear toppers, loon pants and tonic suits from shops like Take 6 and Topman. I was a bit of a soul boy, but I had a very eclectic taste in music - I was into James Brown and Bowie; and ...
