Kelly: Well Oddball, what do you think? Oddball: It's a wasted trip baby. Nobody said nothing about locking horns with no Tigers. Big Joe: Hey look, you just keep them Tigers busy and we'll take care of the rest. Oddball: The only way I got to keep t...
Merlin: Hugo, Digby, you don't land in the K, you're not in the K. Rufus, you opened too soon. You're all over the radar. All three of you, pack your bags. Go home. [the three candidates leave] Merlin: Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. You set a new reco...
Colin: Exciting news! Tony: What? Colin: I've bought a ticket to the States. I'm off in three weeks. Tony: No! Colin: Yes! To a fantastic place called Wisconsin. Tony: No! Colin: Yes! Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin! Whoo hoo! Tony: No, Col! Th...
Professor Henry Higgins: Marry Freddy! What an infantile idea, what a heartless, wicked, brainless thing to do. She'll regret it. She'll regret it! It's doomed before they even take the vow. [sings] Professor Henry Higgins: I can see her now, "Mrs. F...
Harvey Milk: [answering the phone] Scotty? Paul: I'm sorry, sir. I read about you in the paper. Harvey Milk: I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. Paul: Sir, I think I'm gonna kill myself. Harvey Milk: No, you don't want to do that. Where are you callin...
Clarissa Saunders: How many times have you heard me say "I'm fed up with politics" and I... no, I let him talk me into staying. Secretary to a leader of little squirts! Why? Because I need the job and a new suit of clothes! Diz Moore: Would you settl...
Jack Skellington: [sung] Well, what the heck, I really did my best/And by God I really tasted something swell, that's right/And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky/And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did/And for the first time sin...
Barbara: These are those four outlines submitted by Universal for an hour series. You needn't bother to read them; I'll tell them to you. The first one is set at a large Eastern law school, presumably Harvard. The series is irresistibly entitled "The...
Devlin: I can't help recalling some of your remarks about being a new woman. Daisies and buttercups, wasn't it? Alicia: You idiot! What are you sore about, you knew very well what I was doing! Devlin: Did I? Alicia: You could have stopped me with one...
Hiss: Sire, taxes are pouring in, the jail is full. Oh and good news, Sire. Friar Tuck is in jail. Prince John: [Angry] Friar Tuck? It's Robin Hood I want, you idiot! Oh, I'd give all my gold if I could get my hands on. Did you say, Friar Tuck? Hiss:...
Skinner: [growling] What are you playing at? Linguini: [uncertain] Um, uh... am I still fired? Colette: You can't fire him. Skinner: What? Colette: LeClaire likes it, yeah? She made a point of telling you so. if she write a review to that effect and ...
Anton Ego: What is it, Ambrister? Ambrister Minion: Gusteau's, sir. Anton Ego: Finally closing, is it? Ambrister Minion: No, sir. Anton Ego: More financial troubles? Ambrister Minion: No... Anton Ego: Announced a new line of microwave egg rolls? What...
[after learning of the Doomsday Machine] President Merkin Muffley: But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you *build* such a thing? Ambassador de Sadesky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up...
Terence: We wrote one last night outside the mini mart. Morris called it "Stuart Drives A Comfortable Car" and then like in country songs, you know, in parentheses it says "There's Usually Someone in the Trunk." And, and um, I came up with a tune jus...
Danny Torrance: Mom? Wendy Torrance: Yeah? Danny Torrance: Do you really want to go and live in that hotel for the winter? Wendy Torrance: Sure I do. It'll be lots of fun. Danny Torrance: Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, there's hardly anybody to play with ...
Jöns: It's hell with women and hell without women. No matter how you reason it seems like the logic thing to do is to kill them while it's still fun. Blacksmith Plog: Bickering and swill! Jöns: Screaming babies and diapers full of piss! Blacksmith ...
[after Holmes throws Mary off the train, Watson turns around and sees his wife gone] Sherlock Holmes: It had to be done. She's safe now! In my own defense, I timed it perfectly-! [Watson lunges at him and starts throttling him] Dr. John Watson: Did y...
Johanna: [after Turpin discovers her packing] Sir, a gentleman knocks before entering a lady's room. Judge Turpin: Indeed, he does, but I see no lady. I told myself the sailor was lying, that my Johanna would never betray me, never hurt me so. Johann...
Bishop: [toasting the princes] To the new King of Stormhold. Whichever of you fine fellows it might be. [they acknowledge him and sip their grog. The Bishop chokes and collapses forward, dead] Tertius: Hmm. [Tertius chortles nervously as they eye eac...
Roger: Here's a joke, boy. One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in...
[first lines] Narrator: 1879 - the Civil War is over, and the resulting economic explosion spurs the great migration west. Farmers, ranchers, prospectors, killers, and thieves seek their fortune. Cattle growers turn cow towns into armed camps, with m...
