Frank Burns: What's that? Duke Forrest: That's a martin-eye, Frank. Hawkeye Pierce: Finest kind. We're training Ho Jon to be a bartender. Would you care to embribe, sir? Frank Burns: I don't drink. Hawkeye Pierce: Jesus Christ, I think he means it. D...
Caine: My father sold dope and my mother was a heroin addict. Moms and Pops were real popular in the neighborhood. They would always be giving parties for friends of theirs who just got out of jail or was on their way to jail. They only got married '...
Reidenschneider: They got this guy, in Germany. Fritz Something-or-other. Or is it? Maybe it's Werner. Anyway, he's got this theory, you wanna test something, you know, scientifically - how the planets go round the sun, what sunspots are made of, why...
Big Dave Brewster: Japs had us pinned down in Buna for something like six weeks. Well, I gotta tell ya, I thought *we* had it tough, but, Jesus, we had supply. *They* were eating grubs, nuts, thistles. When we finally up and bust off the beach we fou...
Vinny Gambini: [about his secondhand suit, which has an 18th-century look and is red] I bought a suit. You seen it. Now it's covered in mud. This town doesn't have a one hour cleaner so I had to buy a new suit, except the only store you could buy a n...
Vinny Gambini: [Trotter asks Vinny how he became a lawyer] Well, I got a bullshit traffic ticket. I went to court, I got the cop on the stand, and I argued with him until he admitted he was wrong. And the judge, this Judge Malloy. All the while he's ...
[after all the other Senators walk out] Jefferson Smith: Oh, Mr. President, we seem to be alone. I, I'm not complaining for a social reason; it's just, I think it'd be a pity if these gentlemen missed any of this, and... [Clarissa starts waving from ...
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Do you see those two weevils Doctor? Dr. Stephen Maturin: I do. Capt. Jack Aubrey: Which would you choose? Dr. Stephen Maturin: Neither. There is not a scrape of difference between them they are the same species of curculio. Capt. ...
Kate Grant: [looking at graves] There's Woody's little sister, Rose. She was only nineteen when she was killed in a car wreck near Wausa. What a whore! David Grant: Mom! Kate Grant: Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut. David Grant: C'mon......
Sally: I had the most terrible vision. Jack Skellington: That's splendid! Sally: No - it was about your Christmas. There was smoke... and fire! Jack Skellington: That's not *my* Christmas! *My* Christmas is filled with laughter, and joy... and this: ...
[from the 30th Anniversary Edition - additional scenes] Darlene Davies: So you don't think they'll find some kind of virus, or germ? Reverend John Hicks: No. Those creatures were demons, creatures of Satan inhabiting the bodies of our dead. And the d...
Helmut Grokenberger: [Yoyo and Helmut happen to be wearing markedly similar winter hats] We have the same... we have the same hat. Yoyo: What? Helmut Grokenberger: The same hat. Yoyo: No, no no, mine's different. Helmut Grokenberger: Oh no, it's the ...
Adso of Melk: And what was the word you both kept mentioning? William of Baskerville: Penitenziagite. Adso of Melk: What does it mean? William of Baskerville: It means that the hunchback undoubtedly was once a heretic. Penitenziagite was a rallying c...
Frank: I'm telling ya, the answer's up there in Ludwig's office. Call it what you will. A hunch, woman's intuition. That guy Ludwig knows a lot more than he's telling us. Ed: A hunch won't stand up in court, Frank. Where are your hard facts? Frank: L...
Nancy: [talking on the phone with her dad] Hi, daddy. I know what happened. [appealing to Glen] Donald: I haven't been upstairs yet. Nancy: Yeah, but you know he's dead, right? Donald: Yeah, apparently he's dead. Nancy: Listen, Daddy, I've got a prop...
Steven Connolly: [throws cigarette] They're going to expel me now! Sheba Hart: No, they won't. I'll get the blame if she tells. Steven Connolly: As if she won't! Sheba Hart: She - likes me, she might not. Steven Connolly: She likes you, huh? Like tha...
Howard Beale: Right now, there is a whole, an entire generation that never knew anything that didn't come out of this tube. This tube is the gospel, the ultimate revelation; this tube can make or break presidents, popes, prime ministers; this tube is...
Diana Christensen: I was married for four years, and pretended to be happy; and I had six years of analysis, and pretended to be sane. My husband ran off with his boyfriend, and I had an affair with my analyst, who told me I was the worst lay he'd ev...
Young Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll ...
Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna hav...
[Clark has just been pulled over by a Colorado motorcycle cop] Clark: Hi officer, what's the problem? Motorcycle Cop: Get out of the car! [Clark exits from the car] Clark: I don't think I was speeding. Was I weaving or something? Motorcycle Cop: Shut...
