Forget plastic surgery. Enhance your beauty by getting those around you drunk.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouAny fool can masturbate, but it takes a real artist to make it look like sex.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouThere’s bird shit on my toilet paper, and my asshole stings from such a long flight.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouThe chair walked in the room like any four-legged creature would, and I sat on it like a cat.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouDeciduous trees are trees that can’t decide what outfit to wear, so they change three times a year.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouMy farts smell like coffee. Drink them up. But slowly, because they’re hot.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouI could make dinner with one hand. Especially if I was serving Masturbation Stew.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouPeople can cry when they’re happy or sad. Tears are tasty and drinkable on all occasions.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouThe first airplanes looked more like flying furniture than the soaring dildos of today.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouThe ocean waves were choppy. Good thing I know karate and was able to fight back.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You