[Frank grabs a baseball bat and gets one of the umpire's attention] Frank: Oh, excuse me. Could you tell me... is this an official bat? [Frank strikes the umpire's head with the bat knocking him out]
[Outside a strip club] Nicky Gazelle: Do girls really get naked in there? Joey Gazelle: You'll find out when you're twenty-one. Nicky Gazelle: I've seen Mom naked. It's no big deal. Joey Gazelle: Trust me on this one. It's always a big deal.
I don't believe in an eye for an eye. I believe in two eyes for an eye.
I don’t want to develop—I want to evelop, because it’s more positive. Similarly, would you rather your love evolve or devolve? That’s why if you need me, I’ll be on the sofa trying to evelop myself as a person.
Meatloaf is graphable in how far ahead it is in likeability categories. You can also play Mop the Floor with it. I make love like I make dinner that makes cleaning the kitchen more fun for the whole family.
I think about her sometimes, and wonder what she’s doing and who she’s doing it with. I suppose I could just stalk her Facebook page like a normal person, but that doesn’t seem as romantic as surveillance and GPS tracking.
When at a networking event, there's usually a guy alone in the corner talking to himself. That guy is me. Stop by and say hi. My nametag will say Bob, because even if you’re dyslexic you’ll say my name right.
Establishing dominance early in the relationship is key. Vampire children are like human children in that they can sense weakness. They will wait for you to be busy or too distracted to realize that you’ve given them permission to feed on the pizza...
He delivered the mail, ran our modest recycling program, and maintained our handful of public buildings. He also occasionally fell asleep while driving a snowplough, but he was such a cheerful guy it was hard to stay pissed at him. Besides every vill...
There is nothing more exasperating than reading in contemporary guidebooks disparagements of places that are deemed to be "seedy." Do the writers not notice that such places are invariably crowded with people? When a neighborhood is described as "see...
Anyway, the trick is simply this: No matter what happens, keep your heart open. Wide open. The heart is made of love, and love is indestructible, and only the arrogance of ego would presume that it requires protection. To open your heart is to reduce...
Vote? What's so fun about voting? You should never vote, everyone knows that. If you vote and your guy wins you can't later complain because you helped put him there. That's why I never vote, so I can later complain.
You know, when I see a good-looking man, the first thing I think about is sex. I want to see him naked, and I imagine running my hands impatiently over his hot body. I can’t help it: it’s just how I am.
My colors ran all over the page, poured out of the lines and meshed together to form colors no one had yet recognized. I was different–unique, bold, strong, smart, and hard-headed. I was simply me.
He's definitely not one for negotiation, no matter how hard I've tried." "You try asking him naked?" Tess choked on her Irish coffee. "I beg your pardon?" "Men can't think straight when a woman's naked. Something about their brain cells getting jumbl...
Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing? Frank: It's hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...
[to himself, crawling above some acoustic ceiling tiles] Bender: Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says... [the ceili...
You don't have to be naked to be sexy.
I don't mind being naked.
There is an underlying rhythm to all text. Sentences crashing fall like the waves of the sea, and work unconsciously on the reader. Punctuation is the music of language. As a conductor can influence the experience of the song by manipulating its rhyt...
And the bubbles of light again rose and fell, and in their disordered, irregular, turbulent maze, mingled with the wan moonlight. And now from these globules themselves as from the shell of an egg, monstrous things burst out; the air grew filled with...
