I’m a master of encouragement. Why should I do work myself when the price of getting others to do it for me is as cheap as cheering them on?
I could have murdered a man today, but by not doing so I saved his life, and thus became a hero to myself. I’m like that all the time. Being heroic, I mean.
There is one woman I’ve dated I just can’t seem to forget, no matter how much I drink or how many concussions I give myself.
I’ve just awarded myself a trophy for bicycling. It’s big and it only has one wheel. Now I’m one unicycle away from the bicycle that is love.
I don't think any man could solve the world's problems overnight, myself included. You'd better give me at least two days.
If I were a hermaphrodite, and someone told me to go fuck myself, I'd reply, "Why thank you. I think I will!
A bird was shot. I suspect fowl play. The next man to be shot is the man who wrote that pun. Excuse me while I load my gun and shoot myself.
Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.
I was so offended I wanted to light his face on fire. But I restrained myself, because he was wearing my cat on his head.
When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.
Have you ever watched a leaf leave a tree? It falls upward first, and then it drifts toward the ground, just as I find myself drifting towards you.
I had to decide what I was going to do, and what I was going to be. I was standing there, waiting for someone to do something , till I realised the person I was waiting for was myself.
Rage and hurt coalesce into a stone in my chest and as I take another gulp of my father's prized whiskey, I hear myself say, "Tell me about your plan.
I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.
They say the only way you can truly kill a Celestra is by fire. I would gladly lend myself to the flames to peer down eternally over this sinful disgrace of a planet that houses cowards such as these.
There are times when you have to commit a crime to prevent an even bigger one. At least, that’s what I tell myself when I can’t sleep at night.
i am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me. those seem to be the two choices. everything else is just killing time.
I'd be glad of a retaliation that wouldn't recoil on myself; but treachery and violence are spears pointed at both ends: they wound those who resort to them, worse than their enemies.
I had to free myself from my devotion to him... to us... without losing my ability to believe in love.
I collected pictures and I drew pictures and I looked at the pictures by myself. And because no one else ever saw them, the pictures were perfect and true. They were alive.
I roused myself from the book which I was dreaming over rather than reading, and left my chambers to meet the cool night air in the suburbs.
