Ulysses Everett McGill: Why are you telling our gals that I was hit by a train? Penny Wharvey McGill: Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains. Judge Hobbie over in Cookville was hit by a train. What was I gonna tell them, that you got sent...
Morton: There are many things you'll never understand. [Frank draws on Morton as he pulls out money to show him] Morton: This is one of them. You see, Frank, there are many kinds of weapons. And the only one that can stop that is this. [Morton's trai...
Del: When I'm dead and buried, all I'll leave behind are some shower curtain rings that didn't fall down. Some legacy, huh? Neal: At the very least, the absolute minimum, you'll have a woman you love to grow old with. You love her, don't you? Del: Lo...
State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here? Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time. State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going? Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. ...
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up? Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do. Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think yo...
Marvin: [cowering and shivering in the corner after seeing Brett get shot down by Jules and Vincent] Oh, fuck! I'm fucked. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Vincent: Is he a friend of yours? Jules: Hmm? Oh, Vincent, Marvin. Marvin, Vincent. Vincent: [as Marvin con...
Diane: Sweetheart, last night, when you said "They're here'... Carol Anne: Can I take my goldfish to school? Diane: Sweetheart, do you remember last night when you woke up, and you said "They're here'? Carol Anne: Uh huh. Diane: Well, who did you mea...
Lampwick: [picks up Jiminy] Hey, who's the beetle? Jiminy Cricket: Let go! Put me down! Pinocchio: He's my conscience. He tells me what's right and wrong. Lampwick: What? You mean to tell me you take orders from a grasshopper? Jiminy Cricket: Grassho...
Kitty Bennet: Papa! Mrs. Bennet: Is he amiable? Mary Bennet: Who? Kitty Bennet: Is he handsome? Mary Bennet: Who? Lydia Bennet: He's sure to be handsome. Elizabeth Bennet: For five thousand a year, it would not matter if he's got warts and a leer. Ma...
Nikola Tesla: I apologize for leaving without saying goodbye, but I seem to have outstayed my welcome in Colorado. The truly extraordinary is not permitted in science and industry. Perhaps you'll find more luck in your field, where people are happy t...
Sister Alma: Elisabet? Can I read you something from my book? Or am I disturbing you? It says here:"All the anxiety we bear with us, all our thwarted dreams, the incomprehensible cruelty, our fear of extinction, the painful insight into our earthly c...
Sister Alma: Is it really important not to lie, to speak so that everything rings true? Can one live without lying and quibbling and making excuses? Isn't it better to be lazy and lax and deceitful? Perhaps you even improve by staying as you are. (No...
'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Where are you from? Hrundi V. Bakshi: I am from India. 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Got you covered, Injun. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Oh! Bang! Howdy, partner! 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Pretty quick on the draw there. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Never I bel...
Tom Cassidy: I'm buying this house for my baby's wedding present. Forty thousand dollars, cash! Now, that's... not buying happiness. That's just... buying off unhappiness. [waves money in front of Marion] Tom Cassidy: I never carry more than I can af...
Macaulay Connor: What's this? Is it my book? C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes. Macaulay Connor: C. K. Dexter Haven you have unsuspected depth! C. K. Dexter Haven: Thanks, old chap. Macaulay Connor: But have you read it? C. K. Dexter Haven: When I was trying t...
Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? W...
H.I.: What are you talkin' about, Glen? Glen: What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing." I'm talkin' about wife swappin'...
Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long fucking time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled *six* times. Mr. Blonde: Six times. Well, what if she's too fucking busy? Mr. Pink: The words "t...
Rose Mather: People ask all the time what I learned in the camps. But the camps weren't therapy. What do you think these places were? Universities? We didn't go there to learn. One becomes very clear about these things. What are you asking for? Forgi...
Robin Hood: [after just swinging her to safety, he takes her hand] Marian, my love, will you marry me? Marian: Oh, darling, I thought you'd never ask me! [moves behind Robin Hood so he can continue to fight the Sheriff's men] Marian: [giggles] But yo...
Raymond: Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart. Charlie: [Pulls over, gets out of the car and yells] WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHERE YOU BUY UNDERWEAR? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT IS UNDERWEAR WHEREVER YOU BUY IT! IN CIN...
