Emma: It must be nice to have a job with so much downtime. Randal Graves: Downtime's important. If I had to deal with all the fucking mouthbreathers non-stop without a break, I'd put my head in the deep-fryer. [Dante and Emma stare at him, waiting fo...
Blue Collar Man: Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but, uh, what are you talking about? Randal Graves: The ending of "Return of the Jedi". Dante Hicks: My friend here's trying to convince me that any independent contractors who were working on th...
Randal Graves: Embolism in a pool. Dante Hicks: What an embarrassing way to die. Randal Graves: That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died. Dante Hicks: How did he die? Randal Graves: He broke his neck. Dante Hicks: That's embarrassing? Ran...
Dante Hicks: Hey, whatcha rent? [reads the cover to Randal's videotape] Dante Hicks: "Best of Both Worlds"? Randal Graves: Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame. Dan...
Coraline Jones: Oh my twitchy, witchy girl. I think you are so nice. I give you bowls of porridge. I give you bowls of ice... cream. I give you lots of kisses. I give you lots of hugs. But I never give you sandwiches with grease and worms and mung......
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle. Ralphie: Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store! [everyone stares at Ralphie] Ralphie as Adult: [narrating...
Ralphie: Well, what have we got here, folks? Mr. Parker: Well, we figure it's Black Bart, uh, Ralph. Ralphie: Well, it's just me and my trusty old Red Ryder carbine-action, 200-shot, range model air rifle. Lucky I got a compass in the stock.
Ellen: [sees Clark standing up and looking out the window] Aren't you having any breakfast? Clark: I'm not in the mood. Ellen: What are you looking at? Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an...
Lalin: Look what I got! I mean look at me! You got everything, man! Come on! Look what I got to fucking go around with, fucking diapers! I shit my pants everyday! I can't walk, I can't hump... you know? Go ahead and kill me, you COCKSUCKER!
Lady Tottington: But Victor, didn't we agree, no more thoughtless killing? Lord Victor Quartermaine: Quite right, my dear, so I thought this one out very carefully. [Aims his gun at a rabbit] Lord Victor Quartermaine: It's off to bunny heaven for you...
Sonny: You'd like to kill me? Bet you would. Sheldon: I wouldn't like to kill you. I will if I have to. Sonny: It's your job, right? The guy who kills me... I hope he does it because he hates my guts, not because it's his job.
Chief: [introducing Harry to the mayor] Mr. Mayor, Inspector Callahan The Mayor: All right. Let's have it. Harry Callahan: Have what? The Mayor: You report. What have you been doing? Harry Callahan: Well, for the past three-quarters of an hour, I've ...
The Joker: [holds camera facing himself] See, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham! If you want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die, starting tonight. I'm a man of my wor...
Tony Wendice: It's funny to think that just a year ago, I sat in that Knightsbridge Pub actually planning to murder her. And I might have done it, if I hadn't seen something that changed my mind. C.A. Swan: Well? What did you see? Tony Wendice: I saw...
Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI. Your dog has been leaving little bombs in my yard, and I do not appreciate it. Fred McDade: Oh you know dogs... they go where they want to go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] Gru: I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, hav...
Frank Costello: Who let this IRA motherfucker in my bar? [the man looks startled] Frank Costello: [laughs] Only kidding. How's your mother? Man in Costello's Bar: Oh... I'm afraid she's on her way out. Frank Costello: [walks away] We all are. Act acc...
Simon: Where are my pigeons now? Inspector Cobb: Pigeons? Simon: I had two pigeons, bright and gay, fly from me the other day. Why was it they did go? You cannot tell, you do not know. Inspector Cobb: You mean McClane? Simon: No, I mean Santa Claus.
Patrick: Baby, whats wrong? Clementine: I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I'm lost! I'm scared! I feel like I'm disappearing! MY SKIN'S COMING OFF! I'M GETTING OLD! Nothing makes any sense to me! NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!
Clementine: [Clementine has dyed her hair orange] You like? To match my sweatshirt, exactly. Joel: Ahaaahhhhh! Ohhhhhh! I like it! Clementine: You do? Joel: You look like a tangerine! Clementine: Hmmm, Clementine the tangerine. Joel: Juicy... 'n seed...
Kim: Why can't you do it? Jim: Because my father keeps the damn room locked. We need Edward to get us in. Kim: Well can't you just take the key when he's sleeping or something? Jim: You don't understand. The only thing that guy hangs onto tighter is ...
Perceval: [holding the Grail to Arthur's lips] You and the land are one. Drink. Arthur: I am wasting away. I cannot die and I cannot live. Perceval: Drink from the chalice. You will be reborn and the land with you. Arthur: [drinks] Perceval... I didn...
