When I was a freshman, I didn't have that much time for extra-curriculars, so I didn't do any theater stuff. Actually, I didn't do it with my school. I did theater with this thing called Teen Source.
When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying stuff.'
Edmond: There are 72,519 stones in my walls. I've counted them many times. Abbe Faria: But have you named them yet?
Eddie: Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.
Matthew Poncelet: It's quiet. Only three days left. Plenty of time to read my Bible and look for a loophole.
Mr. Fox: A Titanium Card? [whistles] Mr. Fox: How did you qualify for this? Kylie: I pay my bills on time.
Sean: If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you. I will fucking end you. You got that, chief? Will: Time's up.
Albert Torena: Where's your empathy, brother? It's a substance abuse problem. Vincent Hanna: Empathy was yesterday. Today, you're wasting my motherfucking time.
Colonel Hugh Pickering: Higgins, at a time like this, it's positively indecent that you don't need a glass of port.
Zidler: You know it is. The show must go on. And now my bride it is time to raise your voice to the heavens and say your wedding vows.
Annie Wilkes: Now the time has come. I put two bullets in my gun. One for me, and one for you. Oh darling, it will be so beautiful.
Dr. Finkelstein: That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off. Sally: Three times!
Capitán Vidal: Tell my son the time that his father died. Tell him... Mercedes: No. He won't even know your name.
Alan-A-Dale: Oh, incidentally, I'm Alan-A-Dale, a minstrel. That's an old time folk singer. My job is to tell it like it is, or was, or whatever.
Niki Lauda: I accept every time I get in my car there is a 20% chance I could die, and I can live with it, but not 1% more.
Donkey: ...And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!
Seth: That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my entire life! That's insane. Is it... Can I hear it again, do you have time?
Barbara Wakefield: You might want to pencil a little face time with your daughter. Robert Wakefield: Barbara. Barbara Wakefield: Because I'm at the edge of my capabilities, Robert.
The most surprising thing for my mother and father was when I was actually earning more money than them by the time I was about 18. They thought I was going to be the ne'er do well, who they'd have to keep worrying about.
I get a phone call once every 18 months from some mad person who wants me to do something for less than no money and they give me about a week's notice. That's my film career, most of the time.
The highest pay cheque my mother ever received funded the building of a nursery school in Shepherd's Bush - the school cost well over three times the money she donated to the making of the film 'The Palestinian.' Unsurprisingly this always goes unmen...
