Maude: [at her 80th birthday party] I couldn't imagine a lovelier farewell! Harold: Farewell? Maude: Oh, yes, dear... My 80th birthday. Harold: But you're not going anywhere... are you? Maude: [long pause] I took the tablets an hour ago. I'll be gone...
Dr. Mahin, Minister: The commandments say 'Thou shalt not kill,' but we hire men to go out and do it for us. The right and the wrong seem pretty clear here. But if you're asking me to tell my people to go out and kill and maybe get themselves killed,...
Alan Garner: What if Doug's dead? I can't afford to lose somebody close to me again, it hurts too much. I was so upset when my grandpa died. Phil Wenneck: How'd he die? Alan Garner: World War II. Phil Wenneck: Died in battle? Alan Garner: No, he was ...
Phil Wenneck: You're not really wearing that are you? Alan Garner: Wearing what? Phil Wenneck: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just fuckin' with me? Alan Garner: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on...
Norm: Hey, have you seen Paul's grandfather? John: Of course. He's concealed about my person. Norm: [rolls his eyes] He must have slipped off somewhere. Paul: Have you lost him? Norm: Don't exaggerate. Paul: You've lost him! Shake: Put it this way, P...
Capt. Bart Mancuso: How did you know that his next turn would be to starboard? Jack Ryan: I didn't. I had a 50/50 chance. I needed a break. Sorry. Capt. Bart Mancuso: That's all right, Mr Ryan. My Morse is so rusty, I could be sending him dimensions ...
Skip Tyler: When I was twelve, I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida. Well, this thing could park a coupla hundred warheads off Washington and New York and n...
Dr. Petrov: Well if you like borsch perhaps, but I've eaten better in an oily GALLEY. My wife said to the waiter, "where did this man learn to cook? AFGHANISTAN? So then we went on to the Bolshoi ballet, to see this new girl Gizelle. Well, you rememb...
Severus Snape: [Snape has just walked in on Harry and Cormac. Harry attempts to run away] Not... so fast, Potter. Harry Potter: Sorry, sir, but I really should be getting back to the party. My date... Severus Snape: Can surely survive another minute ...
Draco Malfoy: Didn't mummy ever tell you it was rude to eavesdrop, Potter? Petrificus totalus! Oh yeah. She was dead before you could wipe the drool off your chin. [Stomps on Harry's nose] Draco Malfoy: That was for my father. Enjoy your ride back to...
Neville Longbottom: Fourteen years ago, a Death Eater named Bellatrix Lestrange used the Crutiatus Curse on my parents. She tortured them for information, but they never gave in. I'm quite proud to be their son. But I'm not sure I'm ready for everyon...
Kreacher: [to Harry] Nasty brat standing there as bold as brass. Harry Potter, the boy who stopped the Dark Lord. Friend of Mudbloods and blood-traitors alike. If my poor mistress only knew... Sirius Black: Kreacher! That's enough of your bile. Away ...
Harry Potter: Hey Big D. Beat up another 10 year old? Dudley Dursley: This one deserved it. Harry Potter: Five against one. That's very brave. Dudley Dursley: Well you're one to talk, moaning in your sleep every night. At least I'm not afraid of my p...
Dr. Chumley: This sister of yours is at the bottom of a conspiracy against you. She's trying to persuade me to lock you up. Today, she had commitment papers drawn up. She has your power of attorney and the key to your safety box, and she brought you ...
Wilson: Hello, sweetheart. Well, well. Those for me? Veta Louise Simmons: [Picking flowers] For you? I should say not. They're for my brother, Elwood. He's devoted to ranunculur. Wilson: Sure. Well, wouldn't you like to come inside and pick some off ...
Sarah Packard: Eddie, look, I've got troubles... and I think maybe you've got troubles. Maybe it'd be better if we just leave each other alone. Fast Eddie: I have my things over at the hotel. I'll bring them over later. Sarah Packard: I'm not sure. I...
Gandalf: You've changed, Bilbo Baggins. You're not the same Hobbit as the one who left the Shire... Bilbo Baggins: I was going to tell you... I found something in the Goblin tunnels. Gandalf: Found what? What did you find? Bilbo Baggins: [pause] Bilb...
Coach Norman Dale: [after history class] What's on your mind? Everett Flatch: Well, coach... what you're doin' with my dad. I'm not seein' it. I mean, he's a drunk, he'll do somethin' stupid... Coach Norman Dale: When's the last time anyone gave your...
Oliver Wood: Scared, Harry? Harry: A little. Oliver Wood: That's all right. I felt the same way before my first game. Harry: What happened? Oliver Wood: I, uh, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head two minutes in. Woke up in hospital ...
Draco Malfoy: Wait 'til my father hears about this! This is servant's stuff! Harry: If I didn't know any better, Draco, I'd say you were scared. Draco Malfoy: I'm not scared, Potter! [howling noise] Draco Malfoy: Did you hear that? Harry: [calls the ...
Hooker: Hey baby, time to go. Waingro: Showed you a good time, didn't I? Hooker: Oh yeah. You fly. You cool. Waingro: You're lying to me. I can always tell when people lie to me. Hooker: I ain't lying. You're a hot dog. A regular rodeo rider. And thi...
