Charlie: [talking to the woman who answers the door] I'm sorry ma'am, I lied to you. I'm very sorry about that. That man right there is my brother and if he doesn't get to watch 'People's Court' in about 30 seconds, he's gonna throw a fit right here ...
Charlie: This is a good one. We don't go out when it rains, this is a real good one. I hope you appreciate this because my business is going down the fucking toilet. I should be in L.A., instead I'm in the Honeymoon Haven motel in Bumblefuck, Missour...
Donna Remar: You have to leave. I have this odd sense of intimacy towards you. I don't even know why. I told my shrink about it, and she said I should act on it. Alan Johnson: Oh, she did? Well, you need to get a new shrink. Get several. And get a ne...
Michael Sullivan, Jr.: So when do I get my share of the money? Michael Sullivan: Well... how much do you want? Michael Sullivan, Jr.: Two hundred dollars. Michael Sullivan: Okay. Deal. [Michael Jr. stops eating and thinks for awhile] Michael Sullivan...
Frank Sharp (Texan): Which one are you? Alan Shepard: Shepard. Frank Sharp (Texan): Oh yeah? Well, which one's Glenn? He's the one I want to meet. Alan Shepard: He's right over there. Frank Sharp (Texan): 'Scuse me. Alan Shepard: [to his wife] Louise...
[Royal's fake terminal illness has been exposed and he is being thrown out of the house] Royal: Look, I know I'm going to be the bad guy on this one, but I just want to say the last six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life. Narr...
Royal: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me. Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you'...
Stella: How much do we need to bail Lisa from jail? Jeff: Well, this is first offense burglary, that's about $250. I have $127. Stella: Lisa's handbag. Uh... 50 cents. I got $20 or so in my purse. Jeff: And what about the rest? Stella: When those cop...
Lisa: The last thing Mrs. Thorwald would leave behind would be her wedding ring. Stella, do you ever leave yours at home? Stella: The only way somebody would get that would be to chop off my - finger. Let's go down to the garden and find out what's b...
Jack Lauderdale: So Ray, we got to talk about your name, man. Robinson. I mean, Sugar Ray got to Robinson franchise all sewed up. So I'm thinking we go with your middle name: Charles. As in "Ray Charles." Ray Charles: I don't care what you call me, m...
Corey Flood: Hi Joe, How are you? I love you. Joe: I love you too. Corey Flood: You invade my soul Joe: I want to get back together, Mimi is gonna go to college and I'm gonna be alone and I'm gonna break up with her before she leaves, have sex with m...
Lando: What are you doing here? Han Solo: Ah, repairs. I was hoping you could help me out. Lando: What have you done to my ship? Han Solo: YOUR ship? Hey, remember you lost her to me, fair and square.
C-3PO: That sounds like an R2 unit in there! I wonder if... Hello? How interesting. Stormtrooper: Who are you? C-3PO: Oh, my! I... I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. No, please don't get up. [the Stormtrooper shoots C-3PO]
Mrs. Woolridge: Karl, I hear Jerry's taking you somewhere else tomorrow. Karl: I don't reckon I know nobody named Jerry. Dr. Jerry Woolridge: She's talking about me, Karl, that's my first name. Karl: He's carrying me to look for work over in Millsbur...
Oliver Larrabee: Now, I'm not saying that all Larrabees have been saints. There was a Thomas Larrabee who was hung for piracy, and there was a Benjamin Larrabee who was a slave trader, and there was my great-great uncle, Joshua Larrabee, who was shot...
Wendy: [Marv has just easily shrugged off the ropes] You sat there and took it... when you could've taken my gun away from me any time you wanted to... Marv: Sure, but I thought I might be able to talk some sense into you. And I probably would've had...
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: I'm about to commit a direct violation of our orders. Those of you who wish to object, you do so now. It will be noted in my log. Lieutenant Commander Data: Captain. I believe I speak for everyone here, sir, when I say... [pa...
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: It's not too late. Locutus could still be with you. Just in the way you wanted: an equal. Let Data go, and I will take my place at your side. Willingly, without any resistance. Borg Queen: Such a noble creature. A quality we ...
David: You still haven't met his mum? Shaun: Not yet! Dianne: Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun? Shaun: It's not that I don't get on with her... David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun? Shaun: No! I love my mum! Ed: I love his mum too. Shaun: E...
James T. Kirk: [Kirk's HUD breaks midway through his space-jump] Spock my display is down, I'm flying blind. Spock: Captain, without your display compass hitting your target destination is mathematically impossible. James T. Kirk: Spock if I get back...
Jack: I have to have an operation. Maybe a couple. They have to wait for my nose to heal first, and then they're going to break it again. Miles Raymond: At least you'll still have a voice-over career. Jack: It's going to fuck that up too. I ought to ...
