Quotes of: My-friend Keyword

My first coaching experience led to a 77-0 defeat. But that’s not so bad, considering I taught the team one important thing: the value of cheating.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

YOU WILL DRINK THE COFFEE UNTIL I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE CUP!” I did not mean to roar. “But it’s a clay cup.” “I DO NOT CARE!” He finished the coffee. “You did not have to finish it,” I said, because I could perceive tha...

Everything Is Illuminated

I’m not good at talking. Can’t I just nod my way through a conversation? It’s better than nodding off.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

After I speak, my words merge with the wind, and if you’re listening, your ears act like sails and carry the conversation.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

My favorite flower is the tulip. I’m crazy like Holland about them. I’ll even pay as much as $1,637 for one.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the mashed potatoes in my pocket. 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I inherited a pound from my British uncle. I’d have rather gotten a dollar, because what do I want with an animal shelter? 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I’m more developed, and my writing often takes up whole bumpers.  

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I need a Caution: Slippery When Wet sign, because I just spilled my ego all over the floor. 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day of the year it’s closed for cleaning happens to be my birthday.  

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

To show the football coach I was ready to play tight end, I wore no pants and had a Q-tip dangling out of my ass.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Only the living can read. This means that when I write, my target market is people of the future. Greetings, people of the moon! 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

My skull is soundproof. And thank God too, or else you’d be able to hear all the horrible things I’m thinking about you. 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

She was very close to my heart. Even though we were separated by a distance of 400 years, I was lying on her grave.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

When I got married, I could not have chosen a more gorgeous, loving, or perfect woman to crush than the one I broke up with to be with my wife.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

No matter how far or long you carry it, my love doesn’t weigh a lot. But if you aren’t carrying it with you, it will weigh heavy on your mind.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

If love were a glove, I’d wear it on my foot like a goldfish in a silver mine. Ten dimes is too much money to spend on one dollar.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Contrary to popular belief, my experience has shown me that the people who are exceptionally good in business aren't so because of what they know but because of their insatiable need to know more.

The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don't Work and What to Do About It

We had sex by the fireplace. I remember because my waxy nipples started dripping on the carpet.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I suspect I’ll be suspicious for my whole life that Saturday night is sleeping with Sunday morning.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.