It's my job as best friend to make sure he's not a serial killer. Or an English major, not sure which one's worse.
The only thing for it is to use men for sex and never let any of them get so close they could hurt you.
If you believe in the idea of true friends, then your heart is vulnerable to betrayal.
I haven’t seen my old friends in a while. Maybe next week I’ll go visit them in the nursing home.
I'm physically completely mal-coordinated. My best friend used to make me run for the bus just to give herself a quick, cheap laugh because I definitely don't have that sophisticated cool thing down.
God is my best friend. I talk to God every day. And no one can tell me how to talk to God - not no imam, not no priest, not no rabbi, no pastor.
My best friend in medical school was a magician. And we were shown an X-ray of a sword-swallower, and I tried it and failed. Then I got a sword-swallower as a patient, and he taught me.
My father's best friend, Georgie Terra, was an Italian guy. The children and the cousins and nieces and nephews were children of the Mafia. Those were the children he grew up with. If you want to go to a safe neighborhood, go to where the Mafia is.
I actually have a weird tendency to say things to people that they were just about to say. I always freak my best friend out with that. So I might have a bit of psychic power.
When I write I try as far as possible to forget I'm writing it at all. I tell it down onto the page, as if I'm telling it to one person only, my best friend.
Johnny Mercer was my father's best friend and became mine as well. And Harold Arlen, whom I would call Uncle Harry, and Harry Warren: those were ones who I really became close to.
I love Saturday nights with my best friend and a big bowl of pasta, wanting a good scare, something that will say, 'Listen, your life is not as bad as this. Your life can be so much worse.'
Through my writing, I have made new friends and continued to learn about this world of ours in all its wonder, with all its challenges.
Friends and family were convinced I was functioning just fine because I was efficient, productive and successful - who wouldn't be working twenty hour days? I had everybody fooled with my illness.
Many of my friends and family are scratching it out somewhere decidedly south of the ever widening gap between the haves and have nots, looking at losing their homes, colleges they can't afford and healthcare they can't avail themselves of.
I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.
I can see how you could get dragged into the bad stuff, but I've got good friends around me, good family. I think I've got my head screwed on.
I do Facebook, but I only have my friends and family on it, and they always laugh at me for how little I post. I don't know how to upload photos, so I never add pictures.
The family is very important. They make me feel good always because if I won, when I started to be famous, the relationship never changed with my friends and family.
I've made a good amount of money. I'm very happy that I can now support my theatre company and support friends and family, and I'm ready to maybe go back to school and change careers.
My dad was in the army so we moved around a lot and I changed schools every year and had to make new friends, and I found that if I was the funny guy I could do that easier.
