I want to create vagina-scented scratch and sniff stickers. You know, for lovers. They’d be dispensed in vending machines in YMCA locker rooms.
I sold ten bags of hellos for five bags of goodbyes. I’d say that’s a good profit. Or it was, before I blew all my goodbyes on ex lovers.
You wash the horse, and I’ll wash the horse trainer. Then we’ll wash the dishes while we gallop into the sunset like two dirty lovers.
She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway.
Second place is twice as good as first place, when you’re competing to put another person first. Losers make the best lovers.
I found a bra in a bar. Guess when? Anagram Night! It’s the one day of the year that’s truly for lovers. It’s also for a solver.
The human race can be roughly divided into two categories: ailurophiles and ailurophobes - cat lovers and the underprivileged.
Each moment of the happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life.
What more is required than a kind of stupid, insensitive doggedness, as lover, as writer, together with a readiness to fail and fail again?
We should all aspire in life to do a multitude of things well - to be a great father, to be a good husband, to be a good lover, you know, to try to do things the best you can is very important to me.
I had a dream that I didn’t care anymore…when I woke up I realized that I was stuck with a big heart.
I had a dream that Zac Effron showed up at my door shirtless with a bouquet of flowers..yep, I’m still waiting on that one to come true.
I had a dream about you last night... in it, we wondered why dogs come in packs but you can't pack dogs.
I had a dream that I could please everyone. Well that will always be a dream, because I find that near to impossible to do.
I had a dream about you last night, you were the same piece of S**t I know and hate in real life.
As far as he was concerned, there were only two good positions for a human. A female on her back. And a male facedown not breathing.
There is always the poet, the lunatic, the lover; there is always the religious man who is a queer mixture of the three.
A man to whom a woman cannot look up, she cannot love. Yet, it is marvelous how a woman contrives to find something to look up to in a man.
My lover asks me: “What is the difference between me and the sky?” The difference, my love, Is that when you laugh, I forget about the sky
I was just an animal lover. Everything that the Sam Simon Foundation does is supposed to help dogs and people - that's our mission.
There's a special place inside each and every heart where even lover & beloved are not allowed to enter as such. They dissolve & merge with eternity there. Once they enter that place, there is no coming back.
