I steal cracker packets. I hoard them. Once my collection is large enough, I’ll take them to the flea market and try to sell them to discerning lovers.
A pancake would make as good of a wheel as I’d make a lover. I would invite you to have a seat on my unicycle, but it’s sticky from maple syrup.
My love is shaped like a dog whistle—the sound, not the thing. As a lover, I’m a fighter. But dogs have more bark than me—and so do trees.
I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.
Feel free to become a slave to your own clone. And mine. Remember, you can never have too many lovers who look exactly the same as me.
I buy the most expensive trash bags, and the lowest quality products to consume and throw away. As a lover, I’m always thinking about the end user.
I want to buy “A Touch of Gray,” because I’d look more distinguished with a touch of gray in my hair. Also, geriatrics make better lovers.
I don't have time, energy, or interest in hating the haters; I'm too busy loving the lovers.
I wanted to, um, apologize for earlier. I can't believe I did that. I didn't think it could be real and—” “Didn’t think what could be real?” …Your penguin.
The truth is the last thing that matters,' she said. 'And you can believe one thing of the truth and me: I keep it well hidden, inside my heart.
Consider, O Lover, my throat white as cigarette paper. The crushed lavender of my knuckles. My heart, a dulled needle threaded through too many patterns.
It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover.
I just cut my beard. I used a tractor, because farmers make the best lovers. But why sell produce when you could sell reproduce?
I got arrested for driving naked. I guess I shouldn’t have put four wheels, an engine, and a steering wheel on my bathtub. I’m a do-it-yourself kind of lover.
I worship pianos like they are prize diamonds, and I never willfully do damage to them. But I grew up playing guitars, and you treat a guitar like a best friend or a little brother or a lover you have a tempestuous relationship with.
I'm not of the American ilk that, you know, your lover needs to be your best friend and know you inside out. I think he should know you well enough to please you. Otherwise, what secret will there be to tell him when you're ninety?
A high-powered, successful woman doesn't necessarily have the same support behind her that a man in that position would. Plus, she's expected to be a domestic goddess, as well as the best wife, mother, friend, and lover. But it's not just in politics...
I had a dream that I knew it all…but then I woke up and appreciated the fact that I didn’t know everything because then there would be nothing left to discover in life.
The place is also big enough. We could all live there without killing each other." -Rhage "That depends more on your mouth than any floorplan." -Phury
I had a dream about you last night. I was writing a ‘Sex for dummies-Christians That Secretly What to be Porn Stars- 1st edition.’ And you helped me with the illustrations.
I had this dream about you. We went hunting up in the mountains and I caught a unicorn. You told me now I know how it feels to be you.
