Ebenezer Scrooge: I do not make merry at Christmas... Fred: That is certainly true. Ebenezer Scrooge: And I cannot afford to make other people merry. Fred: That is certainly *not* true!
Rizzo the Rat: [falls down a chimney ignoring Gonzo] Hey! I'm stuck! Get me out of here! Gonzo: I knew you weren't suited for literature.
Ghost of Christmas Past: Let us see another Christmas in this place. Ebenezer Scrooge: They were all very much the same. Nothing ever changed. Ghost of Christmas Past: You changed.
Robert Marley: Look, it's Ebeneezer Scrooge! Jacob Marley: Looking older and more wicked than ever. Robert Marley: I knew he wouldn't disappoint us!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Let us deal with the eviction notices for tomorrow, Mr. Cratchit. Kermit the Frog: Uh, tomorrow's Christmas, sir. Ebenezer Scrooge: Very well. You may gift wrap them.
Sam the Eagle: Work hard, lad, and one day, your life will be as solid as this very building! [the shelf collapses behind him] Sam the Eagle: Huh. I've been meaning to fix that shelf!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.
Kermit the Frog: It's all right, children. Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it. I am sure that we shall never forget Tiny Tim, or this first parting that there was among us.
Ebenezer Scrooge: What business has brought you here? Ghost of Christmas Past: Your welfare. Ebenezer Scrooge: Heh, a night's unbroken rest might aid my welfare. Ghost of Christmas Past: Your salvation, then.
Rizzo the Rat: Rats don't understand these things. Gonzo: You were never a lonely child? Rizzo the Rat: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters. Gonzo: Boy! Rats don't understand these things!
Ebenezer Scrooge: This is Bob Crachit's house? Ghost of Christmas Present: How do you know that? Ebenezer Scrooge: You just told me. Ghost of Christmas Present: Well, I'm *usually* trustworthy.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I don't think I've ever met anybody like you before. Ghost of Christmas Present: Really? Over 1800 of my brothers have come before me! Ebenezer Scrooge: 1800? Imagine the grocery bills!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Spirit, show me no more. Why do you delight in torturing me? Ghost of Christmas Past: I told you, these are the shadows of the things that have been. That they are what they are, do not blame me. Ebenezer Scrooge: Leave Me!
Ebenezer Scrooge: [Having just watched the Cratchits mourning Tiny Tim, addresses the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come] Oh, spirit, must there be a Christmas that brings this awful scene? [Voice breaking] Ebenezer Scrooge: How can we endure it?
I know that I basically have the same hair as Beaker from 'the Muppets.'
Mrs. Dilber: I've got his blankets. Old Joe: Ah, his blankets... Why, Mrs. Dilber, they're still warm! I don't pay extra for the warmth, you know. Mrs. Dilber: You should. It's the only warmth he ever had.
Fozziwig: My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas." Jacob Marley: That was the speech? Robert Marley: It was dumb! Jacob Marley: It was obvious! Robert Marley: It was pointless! Jacob Marley: It was... short! ...
Sam the Eagle: Tomorrow, you become a man of business! Young Scrooge: I'm looking forward to it, Headmaster. Sam the Eagle: Mm, you will love business. It is the AMERICAN WAY! Gonzo: [whispers] Sam... [whispers in Sam's ear] Sam the Eagle: Oh... It i...
Gonzo: Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves. Rizzo the Rat: Yuck! Gonzo: [whispering] That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous. Rizzo the Rat: Why are you ...
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, Gonzo, speak to me! I mean, Mr. Dickens. Charlie! Are you hurt? Gonzo: [gets up] To say that Scrooge became startled would be untrue. Still the moment had passed, and the world was as it should be. Rizzo the Rat: He ain't hurt. Did...
Ebenezer Scrooge: Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold to me? Ghost of Christmas Past: I am. Ebenezer Scrooge: But... you're just a child! Ghost of Christmas Past: I can remember nearly 1900 years. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.
