It’s hard to type with gloves on. It’s also hard to type with just an erection. It’s basically like typing with one finger, and in my case, a pinky.
The future seems so crowded to me. All I see is me, me, me, me, me and a million other clones of myself.
A feather taped to a vibrator is a tickling machine to induce hunger, and NOT a sex toy. So you won’t have to ask if you see it in my fridge.
My clones better not wear invisible cloaks. How am I supposed to find myself as a person if I can’t even find my clones?
The US is at a point where just when the people imagine things can’t get any worse, they realize their imaginations weren’t big enough.
If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous of myself?
My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I know, because your heart fits perfectly inside mine.
I want to wow you with my loudness. I wish I could turn down your job offer, because it’s hurting my ears.
I submitted a poem last night to The New Yorker. They said it can take up to three months to hear back. I got rejected immediately.
Love is like Atlantis, OK? And I’m just a humble scuba diver searching for treasure that I can exchange for sexual favors.
My advice is to write in the nude. Unless you do your writing in a public restroom, and in that case, I’d recommend wearing flip flops.
Perhaps the most important thing I learned was about democracy, that democracy is not our government, our constitution, our legal structure. Too often they are enemies of democracy.
If I were a paper pusher for a living, I’d be pissed if my coworkers moved my desk into the wind tunnel. So to repay them, I’d probably relocate all the urinals to inside the wind tunnel. That would teach those guys to never move my desk from the...
I had to learn how to trust my gut. Trust what I know to be right... not right, but not waver on who I am. Know who I am, know what I want, and know it. Not waver on it and be secure in that. And I still struggle with it. But I really... I can't be m...
I think you make the best with what you've got, you know? Sometimes you have very little. And you just always try to rise to higher ground, because you're going to suffer one way or the other, so you just hope that you have strength and perseverance ...
I try not to dwell on big mistakes but to move on when I make a mistake. I make mistakes most of the times and that's part of the risk profile being an entrepreneur. I guess one big mistake I did was not to start my own company earlier. I spent nine ...
Did you have a rough month? I did :( but, you know what? There’s no time to dwell on a missed opportunity or worry about what I should’ve done or said, beating myself up & making myself miserable about my mistakes. That doesn’t work. So will ta...
Once you are able to move beyond the concept of time, so too will you move beyond having any judging or condemning thoughts or feelings about any being, situation or event. When you have nothing to measure the successes and failures of you or anyone ...
If I had to control what I was speaking, it would be a chore. Right now I just feel I've got my shoes off, everybody comes in, I talk. If I was an actor it could be a problem, but right now I just talk all the crap, I can badmouth anybody I want, I c...
We've all felt the pain inflicted by hurtful people...Just remember it's NOT your problem so don't waste any energy stressing about it. It doesn't necessarily follow that because you are kind, others will be kind to you. Just keep moving forward and ...
In history, and in evolution, progress is always a futile, Sisyphean struggle to stay in the same relative place by getting ever better at things. Cars move through the congested streets of London no faster than horse-drawn carriages did a century ag...
