Observation: Thanks to technological advances, avid readers seem to be replacing DTBAD (Dead Tree Book Acquisition Disorder) with an alphabet soup of more more modern-day hoarding behaviors: EBAD (E-Book Acquistion Disorder), EGAD (Electronic Gadget ...
In that six months, so much happened that death seemed, primarily, inconvenient. The trial period was extended. I seem to keep extending it. There are many things to do. There are books to write and naps to take. There are movies to see and scrambled...
How promising today's generation is. They can whip out their cellular phones like sheep, instantly take a million digital photos of their cat and then just delete them. But I'd like to see these kids try to artfully use a traditional film camera or m...
You and your scars. Please! You don't kill youself like this!" I gesture, holding a wrist turned up to the ceiling, then pretending to cut across it with my other hand. "That's just a cry for help. That's just attention. Everbody knows that. Cutting ...
There is a scene in one of the Rocky movies where after the match Apollo Creed and Rocky are waiting for the scoring of their brawl all beat up and battered, obviously both fighters gave all they had to win, and Apollo Creed says to Rocky - "Your not...
It's my conceit that perhaps some diseases perceived as diseases that destroy a well-functioning machine actually turn it into a new but still well-functioning machine with a different purpose. The AIDS virus: look at it from its point of view. Very ...
The best stories (whether book or movie) involve redemption. If you are someone who believes you have made too many mistakes or your life has been too "bad" for God to want you, think of it this way: God, the greatest story teller, has not yet finish...
Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic? Adam: We're ghosts! Lydia: What do you look like under there? Adam: Aren't you scared? Lydia: I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all...
Robber D: [Spike pulls a gun after being warned to drop the weapon, waving a gun in an old lady's face] Don't you get it? I'm gonna SPLATTER GRANDMA! Spike: Well, that's a real shame. But, we're not cops and we're not from some charity organization. ...
Private Joker: Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me? Private Cowboy: Hey, start the cameras. This is "Vietnam - the Movie." Private Eightball: Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne. I'll be a horse. Donlon: T.H.E. Rock can be a rock. T.H.E. Rock: I'll be Ann-...
Todd: What do you think, Katie? Katie Deauxma: I don't know. But I think Kick-Ass is cuter. Dave Lizewski: You do? Katie Deauxma: Oh yeah. I'd totally fuck his brains out if I got the chance. Dave Lizewski: Really? You would? Katie Deauxma: Definitel...
Linus Larrabee: A new product has been found, something of use to the world, so a new industry moves into an undeveloped area. Factories go up, machines are brought in, a harbor is dug, and you're in business. It's purely coincidental of course that ...
[first lines] Gené: Relax. You're feeling calmer and calmer. Now imagine a movie screen, opening before you. On it, imagine your favorite place. Concentrate on your breathing, allowing your whole body to relax, to feel at peace. Keep it going. Just ...
[all hyped and ready after singing a song] Stan: Can I have FIVE tickets to Terence Phillip: Asses on Fire, please? [pause] Ticket Taker: No! Stan: What do you mean no? Ticket Taker: Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion P...
[In the beginning of the movie, Rex just lost a Buzz Lightyear vs. Emperor Zurg game, right when nearly winning] Rex: No, no, no, no. Buzz Lightyear: Oh, you almost had him. Rex: I'm never gonna defeat Zurg! Buzz Lightyear: Sure, you will, Rex. In fa...
Real Harvey: [the real Harvey Pekar introduces his on-screen character] OK. This guy here, he's our man, all grown up and going nowhere. Although he's a pretty scholarly cat, he never got much of a formal education. For the most part, he's lived in s...
[just before they start filming Dirk's first movie] Dirk: Does he want me to keep going until I come? Amber Waves: Yeah. You just come when you're ready. Dirk: Where should I come? Amber Waves: Where do you want? Dirk: Wherever you tell me. Amber Wav...
Upon their meeting in New York in 1958: “We didn’t want to live together. We didn’t have any examples of what a good love relationship between two men could be. And there was always the problem of hiding so no one would know we were gay. There ...
Why can someone get so sick that the only way to get better is to make them more sick? It’s like the world’s longest exorcism. It doesn’t make sense that I can chat with someone live on a tiny screen, that governments spend billions of dollars ...
I think her favorite thing about our . . . collaboration was her actor and musician friends rubbing shoulders with my academic colleagues, she liked the atmosphere of challenge, the way anything that came under discussion could be claimed or rejected...
I moonlight as the greatest actor. I smile. I choose the comedy mask every time. I tell those who worry that I am fine, that I always will be. There is nothing to gain from these lies. I win no awards, yet I bow. On that stage I tell my life story wi...
