Mary Ann: [the mothers are discussing Ronnie] He should just be castrated. Just snip, quick and easy. Sarah Pierce: [sarcastically] You know what else you should do? Nail his penis above the entrance to the elementary school. That'd really teach him ...
[first lines] Scar: [Scar catches a mouse] Life's not fair, is it? You see, I... well, I shall never be king. And you... shall never see the light of another day. Hmm-hmm-hmm, adieu. Zazu: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?
Bennett Marco: I remember... I remember. I can see that Chinese cat standing there and smiling like Fu Manchu saying: The Queen of Diamonds is reminiscent in many ways of Raymond's dearly loved and hated mother... and is the second key to clear the m...
Grandmother Fa: Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should've brought home a man. Shang: Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here? [Grandmother and Mother dumbly point to the garden] Shang: Thank you. Grandmother Fa: Whoo! Sign me up for the...
Max Jerry Horovitz: Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four, and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they're l...
Marge: Nancy? Nancy: What, Mother? Marge: Don't fall asleep in there. You could drown, you know. Nancy: Oh, for Pete's sakes. Marge: It happens all the time. I've heated up some warm milk for you, honey. Nancy: Warm milk? Gross.
Nancy: [At the police station] Ya know Tina, she dreamed this was gonna happen. Donald: What? Nancy: She had a nightmare, that someone was trying to kill her. [to her mother, sobbing] Nancy: That's why we were there mom. She just didn't wanna sleep a...
Margot: Do you send my mother your clippings and your grades from college? Eli: Please stop belittling me. You never gave me the time of day til I started getting good reviews. Margot: Your reviews aren't that good. Eli: But the sales are.
John: Hello, Mr. Hindle. Or as they called you around the hospital: Zepp. I want you to make a choice. There's a slow-acting poison coursing through your system, which only I have the antidote for. Will you murder a mother and her child to save yours...
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel, please, stop with the mumbling. You know how I feel about the mumbling. Blah blah blah blah blah, it's very annoying! I'm just teasing, you're adorable. I love you so much, darling.
Eva: [standing at the counter of the miniature golf course, the mother sees a group of obese people and rails to her son] Whenever I see fat people, they're always eating. Don't give me any of this... 'slow metabolism, it's my glands' crap.
[Shaw shoots Magneto's mother, which enrages him enough crush metal all around him] Sebastian Shaw: Outstanding, Erik. So we unlock your gift with anger. Anger and pain. You and me... we're going to have a lot of fun together.
My father left us when I was 10, so I had to make enough money for us to be able to live in a house because my brother went in the service during Vietnam and I was sole support of my mother. And she had no skills, really, except to clean other people...
Nobody could like Donald Trump, surely, except his mother. No one really likes The Donald. But how can you not have respect for a guy who's been down on the floor and just keeps coming back? Nothing will keep Donald Trump down until they drive a wood...
Every now and then, someone will tell me that one of my books has made them laugh out loud. I never believe them because: a.) my books don't make me laugh out loud; and b.) sometimes I have said this to a writer, when really what I meant was, 'Your b...
From my foster parents, the Deans, I received the love that was ultimately to strengthen me, even when I had forgotten its source. It was my foster mother, a half-Indian, half-German woman, who taught me to read, though she herself was barely literat...
As a child growing up in a grey-skied Yorkshire village, I would occasionally happen upon a Bollywood movie on the television. After a few minutes watching a bunch of sari-clad dancers cavorting on a Swiss mountain to tuneless music, I would switch o...
In my divorce, I stood up and said to my ex-wife, 'Hey, I messed up. This had nothing to do with you. I didn't understand what marriage was. I cheated. I was wrong. We couldn't fix it; it got worse. I stepped away because I didn't want it to get any ...
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Are you Mr. Miller? William Miller: Yeah. Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [politely] You have a message from Elaine, your mother. [pause] Sheldon the Desk Clerk: She's a handful. William Miller: I know. Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [seriou...
Ripley: Ash. Any suggestions from you or Mother? Ash: No, we're still collating. Ripley: [laughing in disbelief] You're what? You're still collating? I find that hard to believe. Ash: What would you like me to do? Ripley: Just what you've been doing,...
Ripley: Ash, that transmission... Mother's deciphered part of it. It doesn't look like an S.O.S. Ash: What is it, then? Ripley: Well, I... it looks like a warning. I'm gonna go out after them. Ash: What's the point? I mean by the, the time it takes t...
