Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and the...
Mother is a humble woman. Very, very humble. She toils at a small café one hour distance from our home. She presents food and drink to customers there, and says to me, "I mount the autobus for an hour to work all day doing things I hate. You want to...
Police radio voice unit F-7: [voice] F-7 to Central. The Crumps are locked in a hardware store basement. Should I let them out? Over. Capt. T.G. Culpeper: How the hell could they get themselves locked in a basement? We gotta let them out. Police serg...
[last lines] Death: I have seen a great many things. I have attended all the world's worst disasters, and worked for the greatest of villains. And I've seen the greatest wonders. But it's still like I said it was: no one lives forever. Death: When I ...
Dorothy Vallens: You think I'm crazy don't you? [pauses] Dorothy Vallens: I want you to stay. Don't hate me. Jeffrey Beaumont: I sure don't hate you. Dorothy Vallens: I'm not crazy. [pauses] Dorothy Vallens: I know the difference between right and wr...
Mom: [Mason is leaving for college] This is the worst day of my life. Mason: What are you talking about? Mom: [Starts crying] I knew this day was coming. I just... I didn't know you were going to be so fucking happy to be leaving. Mason: I mean it's ...
Judge: Does the defendant wish to make a statement before judgement is passed? Gordon Northcott: I want to make it real clear that I never once got a fair shake from you, Your Honor, or from this court. The only one in here worth a good goddamn is he...
Becky: [on the roof about to teach Dante how to dance] Hey, Twelve-Step! [Jay looks around confused] Becky: Jay! Jay: [looks up] Lord? Becky: Up here, jackass. Jay: [moves so he can see her] What the fuck are you doing up there? Yo, if you're gonna j...
Elias: Randal... [Holds up onion ring] Elias: "One ring to rule them all." Randal Graves: And you wonder why no chick'll let you stick your cock in her. Elias: I never wondered that. Randal Graves: Yeah, 'cause you've accepted the fact that you'll ne...
Jay: I dunno dude, that Caitlin chick's nice, but I've seen that Veronica girl doing shit for you all the time. I saw her rubbing your back, fucking comes and brings you food. Didn't I see her change your tire once? Dante Hicks: Hey-hey, you know, I ...
Brick Pollitt: A family crisis brings out the best and the worst in every member of the family. Gooper Pollitt: That's the truth. Margaret "Maggie" Pollitt: Amen. Mae Pollitt: You want to talk about the truth? You're not pregnant! Gooper Pollitt: Kee...
Margaret "Maggie" Pollitt: Look, Mama, he's wearing Brick's birthday present. I haven't given you my present yet, but I will now. I have an announcement to make. Mae Pollitt: What kind of an announcement? Margaret "Maggie" Pollitt: An announcement of...
Steve Rogers: Attention all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, this is Steve Rogers. You're heard a lot about me over the last few days. Some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time to tell the truth. S.H.I.E.L.D. is not what we thought it ...
Steve Rogers: You should be proud of yourself, Peggy. [looks at Peggy's family photos by her table bedside her, showing her with her husband and children] Peggy Carter: Mm. I have lived a life. My only regret is that you didn't get to live yours. [Se...
Frank Costello: You know, if your father were alive, and saw you here sitting with me, let's say he would have a word with me about this. In fact, he'd kill seven guys just to cut my throat, and he could do it. That's maybe something you don't know a...
Dr. King Schultz: My name is Dr. King Schultz, and like yourself, Marshall, I am a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actual...
Manny Cussins: I hired you to do this job because I think you're the best young manager in this country. Brian Clough: Thank you. I'm the best old one, too. Manny Cussins: I also did it under the assumption that you would be coming here wanting the b...
Jim: [after seeing Edward accidentally cut Kim] Hey! Now you've done it! Kim: It was just a scratch Jim, really! Peg Boggs: What's going on? Jim: Call a doctor, he skewered Kim! Kim: He didn't skewer me! Jim: [now bullying and shoving Edward] You can...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: ...and then, Dr. Vornoff falls into the pit, and his own octupus attacks and eats him. The end. Old Man McCoy: Whew! That's quite a story. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes. Old Man McCoy: So, uh, you made the movie, and now you wanna mak...
La La: We should get them when they do to lunch at that Chinese place. Big Evil: That Chinese place is crawling with cops. We gotta get these fuckers when they're alone. La La: We can fucking follow their asses home and hit them there. Big Evil: Mira...
Teasle: [Teasle is giving Rambo a lift] So where you heading? Rambo: Portland. Teasle: Portland is south! You said you were heading north. Rambo: You got some place I can eat around here? Teasle: Theres a diner about thirty miles up the highway. Ramb...
