When certain people can’t figure out why a certain place produces a certain thing, they tend to say, “There must be something in the water.” And I always think, “Yeah, there is something in the water. They’re called fish. They grow on land,...
'Cooking Lucky' is a show for guys - or girls - or really for anyone who is all thumbs in the kitchen and needs some help cooking meals that are so incredibly impressive they make it look like you've been slaving in the kitchen all day when in realit...
Maybe I`m getting to the age when I`m starting to be senile or nostalgic or both, but people are so angry now. You used to be able to disagree with people and still be friends. Now you hear these talk shows, and everyone who believes differently from...
Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains. Man in Black: You're that smart? Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Man in Black: Yes. Vizzini: Morons.
Reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that's being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world.
Why then you're as mad as me. No, madder. For I distrust 'reality' and its moron mother, the universe, while you fasten your innocence to fallible devices which pretend at happy endings.
No matter what I said they insisted on thinking of God as something outside themselves. Something that yearns to take every indolent moron to His breast and comfort him. The notion that the effort has to be their own . . . and that the trouble they a...
On my recent trip to Washington DC, I wore a hat I made out of a tin funnel that I covered with fur. Why? Because I was going to where the world’s largest collection of morons were, so I figured I’d fit right in if I looked like an idiot.
They were exactly the same morons that laugh like hyenas in the movies at stuff that isn't funny. I swear to God, if I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes thought I was terrific, I'd hate it. I wouldn't even want them to ...
Rob: How does he do it, you ask. How does [stops, whispers] Rob: how does an average guy like me become the number one lover-man in his particular postal district? He's grumpy, he's broke, he hangs out with the musical moron twins... [shrugs]
Percy Garris: [singing] Oh don't you remember sweet Betsy from Pike / Crossed the high mountains with her lover Ike / Two yoke of oxen and big yellow dog / Called Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog / Hoodle-dang-hootie-i-doh, hoodle-dang-hootie-ay,...
The fire of my tribulations had not simply been pain to be endured. It had been an agent of transformation. After all that I'd been through, I'd changed. Not for the worse, I was pretty sure--at least not yet. But only a moron or a freaking lunatic c...
Listen you..you.."he sputtered. "You what ? You've already used hellion,draft girl and missy' .i can think of several more degradation,but then again im not the one trying so hard to be intimidating." "How about you,maddending,foolish,moronic little ...
You are what you do. If you do boring, stupid monotonous work, chances are you'll end up boring, stupid and monotonous. Work is a much better explanation for the creeping cretinization all around us than even such significant moronizing mechanisms as...
Picture a place called the Karma Kafe and it'll save me the bother of describing it. There was nothing in it you wouldn't expect, from the Buddha flowerpots to the wallpaper decorated with symbols that probably said, "If you bought this just because ...
Until we have the courage to recognize cruelty for what it is... we cannot expect things to be much better in this world... We cannot have peace among men whose hearts delight in killing any living creature. By every act that glorifies or even tolera...
White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! ...
Jafar: [from inside the lamp] Get your blasted beak out of my face! Iago: Oh, shut up, you moron! Jafar: Don't tell me to shut up! Genie: [taking the lamp off Aladdin] Allow me. Ten thousand years in a Cave of Wonders ought to chill him out! [flicks ...
A blanket could be used as Concealment Revealer. It both conceals and reveals, like great dialogue. Here’s some great dialogue I wrote for two characters, Mr. Brick, and Ms. Blanket: Mr. Brick: I like your dress Ms. Blanket: I’m naked, you ...
But I too hate long books: the better, the worse. If they're bad they merely make me pant with the effort of holding them up for a few minutes. But if they're good, I turn into a social moron for days, refusing to go out of my room, scowling and grow...
NOOOO!" On the screen, a woman's eyes bugged almost out of her head, and I tried not to scream. Tried not to scream in exasperation, I mean. The serial killer was right in front of her, wide open! Clearly, instead of weeping like a moron, she could b...
