Frank Bailey: [sniffs Goatee] Hell! You even startin' to smell like a nigger, Jew boy. Goatee: [to his passengers] Don't worry. We'll be all right. Frank Bailey: Sure you will, nigger lover. Floyd Swilley: He seen your face. That's not good him seein...
Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food? Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back. Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it...
[Scrooge has met the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come] Rizzo the Rat: Oh, this is too scary. I don't think I wanna see any more! Gonzo: When you're right, you're right. [turning to face the audience] Gonzo: You're on your own, folks. We'll meet you at ...
Sam: I feel I'm in a real family now. Not like yours, but similar to one. Suzy: I always wished I was an orphan. Most of my favorite characters are. I think your lives are more special. Sam: I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about. S...
[Szell prepares to torture Babe a second time] Christian Szell: Oh, please don't worry. I'm not going into that cavity. That nerve's already dying. A live, freshly-cut nerve is infinitely more sensitive. So I'll just drill into a healthy tooth until ...
Janeway: [tantrums] Shit! [Janeway arrives back at Szell's hideout where Karl and Erhard are waiting; Janeway is revealed as a double agent, which horrifies Babe even more] Babe: [screams to Janeway] I saw you kill them! You killed them! You killed t...
Virginia McCain: [talking to Jim Taylor on the phone about Buster] No, he's not here. I don't know where he is, he never tells me anything any more. Probably out having an affair somewhere. [Buster walks in] Virginia McCain: Oh here he is. [hands Bus...
[narration voice-over] Neil: I met Wendy Peterson when I was ten. She was eleven, one grade ahead of me in school. If I wasn't queer we would have ended up having sloppy teenage sex and getting pregnant, contributing more fucked-up unwanted kids to s...
Hotlips O'Houlihan: [Raving about the Swampmen's latest stunt] If you don't turn them over to the MPs this minute, I - -I'm going to resign my comission! Colonel Blake: [In bed with a nurse] Goddamnit, Hot Lips, resign your goddamn comission! Hotlips...
Colonel Blake: We have our slight periods here, but when the action starts, you'll get more work in 12 hours than a civili... Hawkeye Pierce: How many nurses do we have on the base, sir? Colonel Blake: Seventeen. Hawkeye Pierce: How many will be on m...
Cypher: All I do is what he tells me to do. If I had to choose between that and the Matrix, I'd choose the Matrix. Trinity: The Matrix isn't real. Cypher: I disagree, Trinity. I think that the Matrix can be more real than this world. All I do is pull...
Oogie Boogie Man: Ashes to askes and dust to dust! Ohh... I'm feeling weak - with hunger! One more roll o the dice oughta do it! [places the dice in the skull shaker but recieves a pair of ones] Oogie Boogie Man: WHAT? SNAKE-EYES! [strikes the table ...
Lock: [singing] I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door, and then, knock three times, and when he answers, Sandy Claws will be no more! Shock: [singing] You're so stupid! Think now! If we blow him up to smithereens, we may lose some pieces! L...
Vincent Ludwig: Tell me, Mr. Papshmir, in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? Papshmir: Well, I would think ANYONE who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin. Vincent Ludwig: Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin - one w...
[about the relationship between Steven and Sheba] Barbara Covett: Well, that's when you should've stopped it. Sheba Hart: I did! I told him I wouldn't teach him any more. But he refused to accept it, he just kept coming back. It began to feel like ou...
Clark Griswald: [talking about Aunt Edna] She can't weigh more than 100 pounds. Ellen Griswald: Oh, no. You can't just put her on the roof. Audrey Griswald: Yes, he can! Clark Griswald: You want me to strap her to the hood? She'll be fine. It's not a...
Clark: I've spent the last 15 years of my life developing newer and better food additives. I guess I've missed an awful lot. At first, I didn't want to take this vacation. But, now I'm glad I did. It's given me a chance to spend a lot more time with ...
Homer: [gunshot in background] Hey Quentin! [another gunshot] Homer: That rocket had to have gone up at least 100 feet didn't it? Quentin: More like two hundred. [another gunshot] Homer: Goddammit. Homer: [another gunshot] Will you cut it out, Roy Le...
Inigo Montoya: Where is this Count Rugen now, so I may kill him? Fezzik: He's in the castle with the prince. But the castle gate is guarded by thirty men. Inigo Montoya: [angrily kicks a stool, then calms down] How may do you think you could handle? ...
Mrs. Bennet: ...and then he danced the third with Miss Lucas. Mr. Bennet: We were all there, dear. Mrs. Bennet: Oh, poor thing. It is a shame she's not more handsome. There's a spinster in the making and no mistake. The fourth with a Miss King, of li...
Keller Dover: [driving along] You know the most important thing your granddad ever taught me? Hmm? Be ready. Hurricane, flood, whatever it ends up being. No more food gets delivered to the grocery store, gas stations dry up. People just turn on each ...
