Jack Sparrow: I know those cannons. It's the Pearl. Man in Jail: The Black Pearl? I've heard stories. She's been preying on ships and settlements for near ten years. Never leaves any survivors. Jack Sparrow: No survivors? Then where do the stories co...
Sergeant Mac Eliot: Goddamn! Shew. Buddy buddy-buddy-buddy-buddy. I've seen some bad-ass bush before, man, but nothin' like this. Blain: I hear ya. This shit's somethin'. Makes Cambodia look like Kansas. Sergeant Mac Eliot: Hey, que pasa, amigo? Litt...
Jake La Motta: Friends. They're in a huddle. Big business meeting. By the pool, they sit around and talk. Big deals. They make sure she can hear. Big Man. Get the fuck outta here. Big shot. Get 'em all in a back room, smack 'em around, no more big sh...
Feathers: How does a... how does a man get to be a sheriff? John T. Chance: Gets lazy. Gets tired of selling his gun all over. Decides to sell it in one place. Feathers: I'd say you made a poor sale. John T. Chance: A lot of people around here'll agr...
Dougy: We keep robbin' banks but we never get to keep the money. Emil: Takes money to make money. We steal money to buy coke then sell the coke to make even more money. Capital investment, man. Dougy: Yeah, but why bother making it when we can just s...
FBI Director Womack: Just clippers, no scissors. Paul the Hotel Barber: No scissors, you've got to be kidding me, no scissors. I mean, did they tell Picasso "no brush"? FBI Director Womack: With scissors, this man could kill you. John Mason: I can't ...
LAPD Officer Marvin Nash: Please! Please... Don't burn me, man. Mr. Blonde: You all through? You all through? LAPD Officer Marvin Nash: Look, I... I got a little kid at home. Now, PLEASE. Mr. Blonde: [holding up a lighter] No, no, no, no, no, no. You...
Little John: [as Sir Reginald] Ah, milord, the esteemed royal sovereign of the realm. The head man himself. You're beautiful. Prince John: Such savoir faire eclat elan, Hiss. Little John: You took the words right out of my mouth, P.J. Prince John: [A...
[In a telephone booth with the door closed] Raymond: Uh oh fart. Uh oh fart. Charlie: Did you fart, Ray? Did you fucking fart? Raymond: Fart. Charlie: [Trying unsuccessfully to open the door] How can you stand that? Raymond: I don't mind it. Charlie:...
[Raymond doesn't want to go outside when it rains] Charlie: Hey, Ray, you take a shower right? Raymond: Yeah. Charlie: Well the rain is a lot like the shower, you get a little wet. What do you say, Ray? What do you say? Raymond: Of course the shower ...
Charlie: Now casinos have house rules: they don't like to lose. So you never show that you're counting cards. That is *the* cardinal sin, Ray. Raymond: Counting cards is bad. Charlie: Yes. Raymond: I like to drive slow on the driveway. Charlie: If yo...
[Ray has stopped in the middle of the street because the sign said DON'T WALK. An angry driver is yelling at him] Motorist: Hey you! Hey dipshit! Move it! You ain't gonna move, I'll move you! Raymond: Have to get to K-Mart. 400 Oak Street. The sign s...
Charlie: This is a good one. We don't go out when it rains, this is a real good one. I hope you appreciate this because my business is going down the fucking toilet. I should be in L.A., instead I'm in the Honeymoon Haven motel in Bumblefuck, Missour...
[Raymond blows their ruse to get into a farmhouse to watch The People's Court] Charlie: That's it. You blew it. You don't get to see your program. Finished. Raymond: One minute to Wapner. Charlie: Yes, one minute to Wapner. I had you in there, Ray! Y...
Alan Shepard: [during enema continence test] Tell me something, Mr. Gonzalez. You ever have any explosions doing this? Gonzalez: All the time. It's a mess. Alan Shepard: Tell me something else, Mr. Gonzalez. How am I doing? Gonzalez: I think you're g...
Colette: Horst has done time. Linguini: What for? Colette: No one know for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him. Horst: I defrauded a major corporation. Horst: I robbed the second-largest bank in France using only a ball-point pen. Horst...
Vaughan Cunningham: [about potted meat] They aren't moving too well, but I'll tell you what, I'll give a couple cans free to the right kid. Frank: I don't like potted meat. Daddy used to say they was made out of lips, peckers and intestines. Linda: F...
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Mr. Worf... I regret some of the things I said to you earlier. Lt. Commander Worf: "Some"? Captain Jean-Luc Picard: As a matter of fact, I think you're the bravest man I have ever known. Lt. Commander Worf: Thank you, sir.
[Shaun and Ed back up to the body of a man they've just hit and Shaun rolls down his window] Shaun: Are you all right? Ed: Come on, let's just go. Shaun: Hello? Ed: He's going to be dead either way. Shaun: Ed, that's not the point! [the body rises an...
[Uhura approaches the Klingon patrol, alone and unarmed] Nyota Uhura: [in Klingon] I am here to help you. With respect, there is a criminal hiding in these ruins. He has killed many of our people. Klingon: [in Klingon] Why should I care about a human...
Jack: Man! That's tasty! Miles Raymond: That's 100% pinot noir. Single vineyard. They don't even make it any more. Jack: Pinot noir? Miles Raymond: Mmm-hmm. Jack: Then how come it's white? Miles Raymond: [laughs] Oh, Jesus. Don't ask questions like t...
