Barton Keyes: Now look, Walter. A guy takes out an accident policy that's worth $100,000 if he's killed on the train. Then, two weeks later, he *is* killed on the train. And, not from the train accident, mind you, but falling off some silly observati...
Salvatore Maroni: [to Batman who is interrogating him about The Joker] No one's gonna tell you nothin'. They're wise to your act. You got rules. The Joker, he's got no rules. No one's gonna cross him to you. You want this guy, you got one way. But yo...
Ferris: Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up...
[hearing a fake phone message] Sloane: [crying on machine] We can't come to the phone right now. We've had a... death in the family. Ed Rooney: Grace, Ferris Bueller is behind this. There is no doubt in my mind, and now, he's got Sloane Peterson invo...
Shermerite: [a student is walking around with a can collecting money] Save Ferris? Save Ferris? [Solicits Jeannie] Shermerite: Save Ferris? Jeannie: Excuse me? Shermerite: Well, a group of us are collecting money to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney. T...
Henry Hill: I only bought the damn guns because he wanted them and now he didn't want them. Jimmy Conway: What the fuck are these? None of them fit. What's the matter with you? What, do you want me to pay for this shit? I'm not paying for it! Henry H...
Melvin B. Tolson: Anybody know who Willie Lynch was? Anybody? Raise your hand. No one? He was a vicious slave owner in the West Indies. The slave-masters in the colony of Virginia were having trouble controlling their slaves, so they sent for Mr. Lyn...
[Frederick is talking about TV] Frederick: You see the whole culture. Nazis, deodorant salesmen, wrestlers, beauty contests, a talk show. Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers. Thir...
Max: What the hell do you think about when you're playing? Where does your mind go when you hit the keys? 1900: Last night I was in a beautiful country. Women had perfume in their hair, everything glowed. It was full of tides. Max: He traveled. And e...
Humbert Humbert: [Referring to Quilty] What happened to this Oriental-minded genius? When you left the hospital, where did he take you? Lolita Haze: To New Mexico. Humbert Humbert: Whereabouts in New Mexico? Lolita Haze: To a dude ranch near Santa Fe...
Sarah Merrit: I hope you don't mind me saying this, but, you seem an unlikely candidate for this kind of work. Nicholas Garrigan: Why, 'cause I don't wear socks and sandals? Sarah Merrit: Touché. Nicholas Garrigan: I still want to make a difference,...
Iris: [Following Miss Froy back to her compartment] Thank you for looking after me when I was - well, knocked out before. Miss Froy: Never mind, dear. Now if I were you I'd try to get a little sleep. It'll make you feel quite well again! There's a mo...
Mushu: Okay, let me see what you got. Mushu: [reading Cri-Kee's note] "From General Li. Dear Son, we're waiting for the Huns at the pass. It would mean a lot if you'd come and back us up." Hmm, that's great, except you forgot, "And since we're out of...
Ephraim: You think we'd hurt your family? Avner: I think anyone is capable of anything. Ephraim: I think you're losing your mind. Avner: Did I commit murder? I want you to give me proof that everyone we killed had a hand in Munich. Ephraim: I don't d...
Ernest Hemingway: I believe that love that is true and real, creates a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving or not loving well, which is the same thing. And then the man who is brave and true looks death squarely in the face, like ...
Colonel Blake: [to Spearchucker Jones at the football practice] I had another idea. I think we should have some plays. You know, usually in football you have some organized plays... Spearchucker: If you don't mind, I took the liberty. Colonel Blake: ...
Ed Crane: [after reminiscing about their first date] It was only a couple weeks later she suggested getting married. I said, "Don't you want to get to know me more?" She said, "Why? Does it get better?" She looked at me like I was a dope, which I nev...
Sporting Goods Clerk: Tent poles? Llewelyn Moss: Mmm-hmm. Sporting Goods Clerk: You already have a tent? Llewelyn Moss: Well, somethin' like that. Sporting Goods Clerk: Well, you give me the model number on the tent, I can order you the poles. Llewel...
Charles Van Doren: Last week alone, I had 11 proposals of marriage! Mark Van Doren: Perhaps you should accept one of them. Dorothy Van Doren: [to Mark] And to think, they unleash you on those impressionable young minds. Mark Van Doren: Well, why not?...
Marion: What do you want? Toht: Ah, the same thing your friend Dr. Jones wanted. Surely he mentioned there would be other interested parties? Marion: Must have slipped his mind. Toht: The man is nefarious. I hope for your sake that he has not yet acq...
Rupert Cadell: After all, murder is - or should be - an art. Not one of the 'seven lively', perhaps, but an art nevertheless. And, as such, the privilege of committing it should be reserved for those few who are really superior individuals. Brandon S...
