Head Illinois State Trooper: I don't want to tell you how to do your job... Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: [on his police radio] Put the helicopter on the bridge! Head Illinois State Trooper: ...but only one man in a million can survive that fall. The...
Frederick: You missed a very dull TV show on Auschwitz. More gruesome film clips, and more puzzled intellectuals declaring their mystification over the systematic murder of millions. The reason they can never answer the question "How could it possibl...
Lawyer: The unlimited checkbook. That's how Big Tobacco wins every time on everything, they spend you to death. Six hundred million a year in outside legal - Chadbourne-Park, uh, Ken Starr's firm, Kirkland & Ellis? Listen: GM and Ford, they get naile...
Barber: Why don't you train us to be top fighters... and we'll avenge them! Landlady: Becoming a top fighter takes time, unless you're a natural-born kung-fu genius, and they're 1 in a million. Barber: [Does martial arts routine] It's obvious I'm the...
Noodles: I always thought you might have helped yourself to that million bucks. But now I know. Yeah, you're on your ass worse than ever. Fat Moe: But I thought it was you who... Noodles: No, you thought wrong. The suitcase was empty. Fat Moe: Then w...
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster: [about Hughes] Well, we have a long list of particulars. Chief among them is that he defrauded the American government of $56 million while we were at war, when we could least afford it. While brave men were dying on the bea...
Sometimes I go to God and say, "God, if Thou dost never answer another prayer while I live on this earth, I will still worship Thee as long as I live and in the ages to come for what Thou hast done already. God’s already put me so far in debt that ...
Consider this: all the ants on the planet, taken together, have a biomass greater than that of humans. Ants have been incredibly industrious for millions of years. Yet their productiveness nourishes plants, animals, and soil. Human industry has been ...
Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?" Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... " Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?" Socialite: "Mr. Chu...
Governments from the top fail as often as those from the bottom; and every great failure brings a sad social reaction, thousands and millions of helpless men laying down their lives in the unhappy process. Why may not statesmen study the past and avo...
I am terribly glad to be alive and when I have wit enough to think about it, terribly proud to be a man and an American with all the rights and privileges that those words connote. And most of all I am humbled before the responsibilities that are als...
It’s been my experience that most folk who ride trains could care less where they’re going. For them it’s the journey itself and the people they meet along the way. You see, at every stop this train makes, a little bit of America, a little bit ...
I think the iPod is the true face of Republican politics, and I’m in favor of the music industry … standing up proud and saying it out loud: We in the Chiclet-manufacturing business are not about social justice, …we’re not about a coherent se...
livid, Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought was too harsh. Someone who ...
When Doris had died so long ago, it was weeks before Mary could think clearly and remember what she was supposed to do the next minute and then the minute after that. Even though Doris had shown Mary how to get rid of the chiggers that burrowed under...
People keep saying someone should fix the system, the system is corrupt. What they don’t get is; they are the system. It’s just like how people hate McDonald’s and Coca Cola. People say they are evil corporations, terrorists and ruining the hea...
There’s a reason you probably haven’t heard much about this aspect of the heartland. This kind of blight can’t be easily blamed on the usual suspects like government or counterculture or high-hat urban policy. The villain that did this to my ho...
What to Accept The fact of mountains. The actuality Of any stone — by kicking, if necessary. The need to ignore stupid people, While restraining one's natural impulse To murder them. The change from your dollar, Be it no more than a penny, For with...
[Sennett is explaining the film industry to Chaplin as Rollie edits a film] Mack Sennett: Now I know this is all new to ya, but remember something, we're all new. This is not an ancient industry. This whole place here is built around speed. Start the...
[Jerry and an irate customer argue over a sealant that the customer had previously indicated he didn't want, after Jerry has gone off to pretend to talk to his boss] Jerry Lundegaard: Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special cir...
Behrani: Perhaps you did not come here to live like a Gypsy, but I did not come here to work like an Arab... to be treated like an Arab. For four years we have lived a life we could not afford and spent almost everything to marry Soraya with a good f...
