Conrad "Con" Jarrett: [Berger is pretending to be Buck, Con's older brother] Bucky, I didn't mean it! Bucky, I didn't meant it! Dr. Berger: What? Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I said put the sail down, but you said keep it starboard, and then we go over! And...
George Nelson: [after Nelson has robbed the bank] Thank you folks! And remember, Jesus saves, but George Nelson withdraws! [laughs] George Nelson: Go fetch the auto voiture, Pete. Woman In Bank: [whispering] Is that "Babyface" Nelson? George Nelson: ...
Lance: [handing Vincent the needle] Here, I'll tell you what to do. Vincent: No no no no man, man I ain't giving her... You... you, you're gonna give her the shot... Lance: No, you're gonna give her the shot... Vincent: I ain't givin' her the shot......
Dega: Well, it now seems quite possible that until we get to a decent jail with bribeable guards, I may stand in some need of... rather close physical protection. Papillon: That depends on how long you want to live. Dega: For a long time. Papillon: T...
Patrick: [mimicking his shop teacher] The prick punch is not a toy! I learned that back in 'Nam in '68. 'Callahan,' Sergeant said, 'you put down that prick punch and go kill some gooks!' And you know what happened? That prick punch killed my best fri...
Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground. Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And ...
Captain Darrow: Sergeant Crisp, secure the General. I'm relieving you of command, sir. [pause] Captain Darrow: SERGEANT. [Sergeant Crisp pulls out his pistol and reaches for General Hummel's gun holster] Sergeant Crisp: I'll have that sidearm, sir. [...
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation. Max Fischer: And what does that entail? Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: It entails that if you fail another class, you'll be asked to leave Rushmore. Max Fischer: In oth...
[talking about Jack Lauderdale] Gossie McKee: You need watching out for and he ain't got time to look after you the way I been looking after you. Ray Charles: Is that what you been doing, Gossie, watching out for me? Is that why you get paid double w...
[Strangelove's plan for post-nuclear war survival involves living underground with a 10:1 female-to-male ratio] General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the ...
Claire Kane: Oops, excuse me, sweetie. I really like the Wymans, don't you? Stuart Kane: Who? Claire Kane: The doctor and his wife, Marian. Ralph, I think his name. You know, the ones from the concert. Stuart Kane: He seems kind of lofty. You're off ...
[last lines] James T. Kirk: There will always be those who mean to do us harm. To stop them, we risk awakening the same evil within ourselves. Our first instinct is to seek revenge when those we love are taken from us. But that's not who we are... Wh...
[Dragon, having a crush on Donkey, is cuddling him] Donkey: [desperately talking] I don't want to rush into a... physical relationship... I'm not that emotionally ready for a... uh... commitment of this... uh... magnitude! Really, that's the word I'm...
Kikuchiyo: What do you think of farmers? You think they're saints? Hah! They're foxy beasts! They say, "We've got no rice, we've no wheat. We've got nothing!" But they have! They have everything! Dig under the floors! Or search the barns! You'll find...
Saddam Hussein: Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing. Cartman: Hey, don't call me fat buttfucker! [rays shoot from malfunctioning V-chip and kill a demon from hell] Stan: Do it Cartman! Do it! Ca...
Vegan Police: Freeze! Vegan Police! Vegan Police: Vegan Police! Vegan Police: Todd Ingram, you're under arrest for Veganity Violation Code Number 827: imbibing of half-and-half. Todd Ingram: That's bullroar! Vegan Police: No vegan diet, no vegan powe...
[Arriving back from their first date] Aurora Greenway: Would you like to come in? Garrett Breedlove: I'd rather stick needles in my eyes. Aurora Greenway: Everything would have been just fine, you know, if you hadn't gotten drunk. I was... I... I jus...
Randolph Duke: [Valentine overhears the Dukes talking in the bathroom] Pay up, Mortimer. I've won the bet. Mortimer Duke: Here, one dollar. Randolph Duke: [chuckling] We took a perfectly useless psychopath like Valentine, and turned him into a succes...
Sarah Connor: Are you sure you have the right person? Kyle Reese: I'm sure. Sarah Connor: [angrily] Oh, come on. Do I look like the mother of the future? I mean am I tough, organized? I can't even balance my checkbook! Look Reese, I didn't ask for th...
Jeff: [michael's half dressed as Dorothy, getting ready for a dinner with Julie] What do you mean you don't have anything to wear? Michael Dorsey: She has seen me in all of these! Jeff: She hasn't seen you in that white dress Michael Dorsey: What, th...
Jordan Belfort: People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. Donnie Azoff: Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think. Jordan Belfort: Is she like, a first cousin? Donnie Azoff: Her father...
