Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes. Carnival Barker: Well, you see that little spaceship there? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, Professor? It means you don't get the unicorn...
Gru: [Sees Edith near his iron maiden] No, no! Stay away from there! It's fragile! [the iron maiden closes with Edith inside; a red liquid leaks from underneath; Margo and Agnes gasp] Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [Inside t...
Frank Costello: Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. "Non serviam." Young Colin: James Joy...
Bearded Redneck: You're Shannon's buddy right? We met last year. You drove me and my brother back from Palm Springs. We hired another wheelman. I spent six months in jail. My brother, he got himself killed. I got this sweet job coming up. Driver: How...
Driver: If I drive for you, you get your money. You tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. I give you five minutes when we get there. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything a mi...
Bernie Rose: What do you got that the big professional race teams don't? Shannon: I got the driver. Bernie Rose: You just told me they had half a dozen drivers. Shannon: Not like this. This kid is special. I've been working with him for a while. I've...
Professor Abraham Van Helsing: We are dealing with forces beyond all human experience, and enormous power. So guard her well. Otherwise, your precious Lucy will become a bitch of the Devil! A whore of darkness! Quincey P. Morris: Well, you're a sick ...
Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Te...
Rufus T. Firefly: Now, what is it that has four pairs of pants, lives in Philadelphia, and it never rains but it pours? Chicolini: Atsa good one. I give you three guesses. Rufus T. Firefly: Now let me see. Has four pair of pants, lives in Philadelphi...
Rufus T. Firefly: [singing] If any form of pleasure is exhibited, report to me and it will be prohibited! I'll put my foot down, so shall it be... this is the land of the free! The last man nearly ruined this place he didn't know what to do with it. ...
Dr. King Schultz: How long have you been associated with Mr. Candie? Leonide Moguy: Oh, Calvin's father and I were about eleven when we went to boarding school together. Calvin's father's father put me through law school. One could almost say I was r...
Simon: Is there a detective named McClane there? Inspector Cobb: He's on suspension. Simon: No, Walter, he's not. Not today. Inspector Cobb: Who is this? Simon: Call me Simon. Inspector Cobb: What do you want? Simon: I want to play a game. Inspector ...
Tania: Mr. Williams. [pause] Tania: *Mr. Williams!* Williams: For me? Tania: [Tania nods] Williams: You shouldn't have [pause] Williams: but, [pause] Williams: I'll take you darling, [pause] Williams: and you, [pause] Williams: and you, [pause] Willi...
Vassili: On the train... coming here... we were in the same car. Tania: No... Vassili: I saw you. You were reading and you fell asleep. Oh, I didn't dare look at you, you were so beautiful. It was scary. Afterwards, I couldn't stop thinking about you...
General Paulus: My army is not designed for this kind of fighting. Yesterday, yet again I had to promote 25 sergeants to replace the officers shot down by the sharpshooters. Those snipers are demoralizing my people. This city is no more than a heap o...
Mary: Let me ask you something. [Grabs his hand] Mary: Why are you alive? John Preston: [Breaks free] I'm alive... I live... to safeguard the continuity of this great society. To serve Libria. Mary: It's circular. You exist to continue your existence...
Peg Boggs: Why are you hiding back there? You don't have to hide from me - I'm Peg Boggs, your local Avon representative and I'm as harmless as cherry pie... [sees Edward come toward her] Peg Boggs: Oh - I can see that I've disturbed you. I'll just b...
[Rambo takes over an Army truck] Rambo: Drive! [Army driver glances at him] Rambo: Don't look at me, look at the road! That's how accidents happen. Rambo: [beat] What's your name? Guardsman #3: Cathcart, Robert A. Rambo: What have you got in the back...
[while burning the Narrator's hand with lye] Tyler Durden: Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God? Narrator: No, no, I... don't... Tyler Durden: Listen to me! You have to consider the po...
[In the Whammy Burger] Bill Foster: Why am I calling you by your first names? I don't even know you. I still call my boss "Mister", and I've been working for him for seven years, but all of a sudden I walk in here and I'm calling you Rick and Sheila ...
[Forrest has finished assembling his rifle] Forrest Gump: DONE, DRILL SERGEANT! Drill Sergeant: GUUUUUUMP! Why did you put that weapon together so quickly, Gump? Forrest Gump: [confused] You told me to, Drill Sergeant? Drill Sergeant: Jesus H. Christ...
