Natalie: Why didn't you tell me? Keith: Everybody bites it sooner or later. I'm just in the AP class, ahead of the game. Natalie: Always the joke. Keith: Al says it's a phase. It'll stop soon, but hey, at least it wasn't about the sympathy for the si...
Prince Feisal: My friend Lawrence, if I may call him that. "My friend Lawrence". How many men will claim the right to use that phrase? How proudly! He longs for the greenness of his native land. He pines for the Gothic cottages of Surrey, is it not? ...
Sam: There's this big concert at the end of term, and Joanna's in it. And I thought, maybe if I was in the band, and played absolutely superbly, there's a chance that she might actually fall in love with me. What do you think? Daniel: I think it's br...
Jamie: Er... Would you like the last, uh...? Aurelia: [in Portuguese] Thank you very much, but no. Jamie: No? Aurelia: [in Portuguese] If you saw my sister, you'd understand why. Jamie: That's all right, more for me. Aurelia: [in Portuguese] Just don...
Bacon: What's that? Samoan Joe's Barman: It's a cocktail. You asked for a cocktail. Bacon: No. I asked you to give me a refreshing drink. I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest! You could fall in love with an orangutan in that! Samoan Joe's Barman: ...
Gary: So who's the gov'? Who we doing this for? Barry the Baptist: You're doing it for me, that's all you need to know. You know because you need to know. Gary: I see. One of them "on a need to know basis" things is it. Like one of them James Bond fi...
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly! Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah! Followers: ...
[first lines] Wise Man #1: Ahem! Brian's mother: Oh! [falls over in chair] Brian's mother: Who are you? Wise Man #2: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: What? Wise Man #1: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: Well, what are you doing creeping ar...
Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again? Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the mid...
[On the run from Roman soldiers, Brain lands on a public stage prophets. Brian quickly decides to disgues himself as one] Brian: [Unsure and stuttering] Don't... pass judgement... on other people, or you might be judged yourself. Passer-by: [as if sh...
Jesus: [Opening lines] The feeling begins. Very tender, very loving. Then the pain starts. Claws slip underneath the skin and tear their way up. Just before they reach my eyes, they dig in. And I remember. First I fasted for three months. I even whip...
Fred Madison: How did you meet that asshole Andy, anyway? Renee Madison: It was a long time ago. I met him at this place called Moke's. We... became friends. He told me about a job... Fred Madison: What job? Renee Madison: Ah... I don't remember. Any...
Col. Boyer: [Narrating, as he makes out an official document and affixes his wax seal] By the power vested in me by Her Majesty, Queen Victoria, I hereby declare that, after much deliberation on the matter, the Cantonment at Champaner be dissolved, a...
Witch King: [taking Eowyn by the throat] You fool. No man can kill me. Die now. [Merry stabs the Witch King from behind; the Witch King shrieks and falls to his knees. Eowyn rises and pulls off her helm, her hair falls down over her shoulder] Eowyn: ...
Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope. Young Simba: But, Dad, don't we eat the antelope? Mufasa: Yes...
Zazu: I'm here to announce that King Mufasa's on his way. So you'd better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning. Scar: [sees the mouse scampering off] Oh, now look, Zazu, you made me lose my lunch. Zazu: Ha! You'll lose more than t...
Humbert Humbert: You know, I've missed you terribly. Lolita Haze: I haven't missed you. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. Humbert Humbert: Oh? Lolita Haze: But it doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. Humbert Hum...
Benny: [suddenly appears] Hey, I'm Ben! But you can call me Benny! And I can build a spaceship. Watch this. [starts building a spaceship] Benny: Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Lucy: No! You can't. The skies are surrounded. Ben...
[Sunshine has brought her widow sisters] Sunshine: It is very sad. They have no husbands and they cry. Jack Crabb: Well, that's too bad; I'm sorry. Sunshine: Digging Bear had a baby and lost it. And so did Corn Woman. But Little Elk had no baby at al...
Cosette: You will live, Papa you're going to live. It's too soon too soon to say goodbye. Jean Valjean: Yes Cosette, forbid me now to die I'll obey. I'll try. On this page I write my last confession. Read it well when I at last am sleeping. It's the ...
Prince Eric: Well, what do you say? Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow? [Ariel nods with delight] Grimsby: Wonderful! Now, let's eat before this crab wanders off my plate. [He puts his fork down onto his plate and is surprised...
