Kostya Novotny: I pick her out special just for you. Monty Brogan: The last girl you picked out special for me had three teeth, all in the back. Kostya Novotny: Funny you should say that. [laughs] Monty Brogan: Why? Why is it funny I should say that?...
[HAL's shutdown] HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a ...
[as the Spartans are surrounded] Persian General: Leonidas, my compliments and congratulations. You surely have turned calamity to victory. Despite your insufferable arrogance, the god-king has come to admire Spartan valor and fighting skill. You wil...
Guido: What is this flash of joy that's giving me new life? Please forgive me sweet creatures; I didn't realize, I didn't know. How right it is to accept you, to love, you... and how simple! Luisa, I feel I've been set free. Everything looks good to ...
Guido: Could you walk out on everything and start all over again? Could you choose one single thing, and be faithful to it? Could you make it the one thing that gives your life meaning... just because you believe in it? Could you do that?" Claudia: I...
[at the dinner table] Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey? Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackma...
Angela Hayes: I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out. You know, like, "Say hello to Mr. Happy." Playground Girl #1: Gross. Angela Hayes: It wasn't gross. It was kinda cool. Playground Girl #1: So did you do it with him? Angela H...
Jim Olmeyer: Hello! We're your neighbors from two doors down and we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! [hands the Colonel a gift basket] Jim "JB" Berkely: Everything's from our garden, except for the pasta. Jim Olmeyer: Yes, it's from Fi...
Brad Dupree: ...so I'm sure you can understand the need to cut corners around here. Lester Burnham: Sure. Times are tight, and you need to free up cash. Gotta spend money to make money. Brad Dupree: Exactly. Lester Burnham: Like when our editorial di...
Virgil: [looking at the picture Lindsey took of the alien craft] That's a great shot, Linds. Catfish De Vries: You drop your dive light? Lindsey Brigman: No, come on you guys, come on. Now that's the small one, that's the small one here. You can kind...
[at a seminar, Charlie Kaufman has asked McKee for advice on his new screenplay in which 'nothing much happens'] Robert McKee: Nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day. There's genocide, war, corru...
Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I am pathetic, I am a loser... Robert McKee: So what is the substance of writing? Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I have failed, I am panicked. I've sold out, I am worthless, I... What the fuck am I doing here? What the fu...
Jeff Bebe: I also slept with Leslie [pauses] Jeff Bebe: when you were fighting. Russell Hammond: [Surprised] You slept with Jeff? Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Yeah, but it didn't count! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules! Russell Hammond...
Jesse James: [Jesse has given Bob a gun as a gift] You know what John Newman Edwards once wrote about me? He said I didn't trust two men in ten thousand and was even cautious around them. The government's sort of run me ragged. I'm going the long way...
Jesse James: You know I'm real comfortable with your brother. Hell, he's ugly as sin and he smells like a skunk and he's so ignorant he couldn't drive nails in the snow, but he's sort of easy to be around. I can't say the same for you, Bob. Robert Fo...
Mama Lucas: You don't shoot cops. Even I know that. Eva knows it. The only one who DOESN'T seem to know is you. Frank Lucas: [ignores her pleas as he escorts her outside] All right, Mama. I'm not going to, I promise you. I'm not going to shoot anyone...
Joe: [waves for Curt to come over] Get down! OK now, you got it? I'm staying here, you're on your own. Curt Henderson: Wait a minute, wait a minute, Joe... wait a minute. What if he hears me? Joe: Shhh. Listen, listen! Look at it this way. Now, you g...
[first lines] Terry Fields: Hey, what do you say, Curt? Last night in town... you guys gonna have a little bash before you leave? Steve Bolander: The Moose have been looking for you all day. [hands a check to Curt] Steve Bolander: They got worried......
[Annie wants to smoke marijuana before sex] Alvy Singer: Yeah, grass, right? The illusion that it will make a white woman more like Billie Holiday. Annie Hall: Well, have you ever made love high? Alvy Singer: Me? No. I - I, you know, If I have grass ...
Lady Marian Fitzswalter: Tell me: when you are in love, is it hard to think of anybody but one person? Bess: Yes, indeed, m'lady, and sometimes it's a bit of trouble sleeping. Lady Marian Fitzswalter: I know! But it's a nice kind of not sleeping! Bes...
Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure! Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time! Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law. Boon: I thought you were pre-med. Otter: What's the difference? [Addressing the room] Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll ...
