Merlin: Congratulations on completing your first task. Charlie, Roxy, well done. For those of you who are still confused, if you can get a breathing tube through the U-bend of a toilet, you have an unlimited air supply. Simple physics... worth rememb...
Keith: I've been thinking about what you said, about that concrete goal. Alan Ascher: And? Keith: I think I've nailed it. I feel really good about this one, Al. Alan Ascher: Lay it on me. Keith: It's a girl. Alan Ascher: Cool. What's she like? Keith:...
General Murray: [on the Arab Revolt] It's a storm in a tea cup, Mr. Dryden - a sideshow. If you want my own opinion, this whole theater of operations is a sideshow! The real war's not being fought against the Turks, but the Germans. And not here, but...
[Billy's record makes #1] Radio 1 chart show DJ: Hi, Billy! Billy Mack: Hello. Radio 1 chart show DJ: We're live across the nation, and you're number one! [Billy laughs] Radio 1 chart show DJ: How will you be celebrating? Billy Mack: I don't know. Er...
Dog: So we've got a bit of a problem, ain't we? In fact, this is a bit more than a bit of a problem. I'd say it's the Mount fucking Everest of problems! And the reason it's such a fucking monstrosity of a problem is, *you haven't got the first idea w...
Barry the Baptist: [answering his phone] What? Dean: I thought you said there'd be no staff Barry! Barry the Baptist: Did you get those guns? Dean: You wanna see what they did to poor Gary? [calling out to a delirious Gary] Dean: Gary? Gary? Barry th...
Nisus Wettus: [a line of prisoners files past a jailer] Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion? Prisoner: Yes. Nisus Wettus: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each. [Next prisoner] Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion? Mr. Cheeky: Er, no, freedom actually. ...
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper? Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"? Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir. Brian: Well, what happened? Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir. Brian: Cured? Ex-Le...
Brian: No, no. Please, please please listen. I've got one or two things to say. The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them! Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for you...
Field Marshal Gerd von Rundstedt: This is madness... madness... sheer madness! Major General Gunther Blumentritt: I just talked to General Jodl... the Fuhrer is awake. Field Marshal Gerd von Rundstedt: I don't care if he's awake or not! What about th...
Alfred: When are you planning to be married? Tristan: Morning. Alfred: Damn you, Tristan. You will marry her. Tristan: And make a honest woman out of her? Alfred: Yes! God damn you to hell. Tristan: Yes, I will marry her if she'll have me. Alfred: If...
Constance Harraway: You wanna tell me what's up? David Gale: Nothing. Everything. Something profoundly stupid happened last night. Constance Harraway: I hope you used a condom. [David looks at Constance] Constance Harraway: Oh Jesus Christ, David. Wa...
Mr. Eddy: How you doin' Pete? Pete Dayton: Okay. Mr. Eddy: I'm sure you noticed that girl that was with me the other day, good lookin' blonde? She stayed in the car? Her name is Alice. I swear I love that girl to death. If I ever find out that somebo...
Sam: Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the straw...
Galadriel: The power of the Three Rings is ended. The time has come... for the dominion of Men. Elrond: I Aear c?n ven na mar. [Elvish: The Sea calls us home] Bilbo: I think I'm... quite ready for another adventure. [Climbs on board with Elrond. Gala...
Rafiki: [after guiding Simba to a spot where he says will show him Mufasa] Look down there. Adult Simba: [looks into a pool of water] That's not my father. That's just my reflection. Rafiki: No, look harder. [touches the water, as it ripples Simba's ...
Zazu: As the king's brother *you* should have been first in line. Mufasa: Well I was first in line. Until the little hairball was born. Mufasa: That hairball is my son and you're future king. Scar: [Begins walking away] Oh, I shall practice my curtse...
Humbert Humbert: Well, it's nothing, but... she had an accident. Clare Quilty: Oh gee, she had an accident? That's really terrible, I mean, fancy a fellow's wife having... a normal guy having... his wife having an accident like that. W-what happened ...
Charlotte Haze: Is, um, Madame Humbert, um... Humbert Humbert: There's no "Madame". We are divorced... Charlotte Haze: Oh... Humbert Humbert: *Happily* divorced. Charlotte Haze: When did all this happen? Humbert Humbert: About a year ago - in Paris. ...
Jack Crabb: General, you go down there. General Custer: You're advising me to go into the Coulee? Jack Crabb: Yes sir. General Custer: There are no Indians there, I suppose. Jack Crabb: I didn't say that. There are thousands of Indians down there. An...
Triton: Sebastian, I'm concerned about Ariel. Have you noticed she's been acting peculiar lately? Sebastian: Oh! Uh, peculiar? Triton: You know, mooning about, daydreaming, singing to herself. You haven't noticed, hmm? Sebastian: Oh, well I. Triton: ...
