Artie Fufkin: [after nobody turns up, at an album-signing promotion] You know what I want you to do? Will you do something for me? David St. Hubbins: What? Artie Fufkin: Do me a favor. Just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that's all. Kick...
Lewis Bodine: We never found anything on Jack... there's no record of him at all. Old Rose: No, there wouldn't be, would there? And I've never spoken of him until now... Not to anyone... Not even your grandfather... A woman's heart is a deep ocean of...
[last title card] Title card: Some years later, Mrs. Ansonia Feathers made the arduous journey to Hodgeman County to visit the last resting place of her only daughter. William Munny had long since disappeared with the children... some said to San Fra...
Dave Kujan: First day on the job, you know what I learned? How to spot a murderer. Let's say you arrest three guys for the same killing. You put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever's sleeping is your man. You see, if you're guilty, ...
Sergeant Howie: Your lordship seems strangely... unconcerned. Lord Summerisle: Well I'm confident your suspicions are wrong, Sergeant. We don't commit murder here. We're a deeply religious people. Sergeant Howie: Religious? With ruined churches, no m...
Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee. [Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose] Dorothy: Shame on you! Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him. Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man...
[as they all observe the subway station] Ajax: Come on, what kind of chickenshit crap is this. Cochise: Yeah, come on? We're here, what are we waiting for? Fox: The train would help! Unless you wanna go up there and get jacked on an open platform. Co...
[BlueStar stock has gone from 19 to 22 7/8 very quickly] Marv: Whew! Stock's going to Pluto, man. Bud Fox: Start unloading! Marv: What? SELL? Bud Fox: Dump it! Dump it all! Where's Lou? Marv: He's over there. [Marv gets on the phone] Marv: Ken, this ...
Janet Black: Doctor Manhattan as you know the Doomsday Clock is a symbolic clock face analogizing humankind's proximity to extinction, midnight representing the threat of nuclear war. As of now it stands at four minutes to midnight. Would you agree t...
George: Now that's it! You can take over a few classes from the older men, but until you start plowing pertinent wives, you really aren't working. The broad, inviting avenue to man's job is through his wife, and don't you forget it. Nick: And I'll be...
Lord Naritsugu Matsudaira: Hanbei? Hanbei Kitou: Huh? Lord Naritsugu Matsudaira: You think the age of war was like this? Hanbei Kitou: Perhaps Lord Naritsugu Matsudaira: It's magnificent. With death comes gratitude for life. If a man has lived in vai...
Solomon Northup: [Epps has just whipped Patsey within an inch of her life] Thou devil! Sooner or later, somewhere in the course of eternal justice thou shalt answer for this sin! Edwin Epps: No sin! There is no sin! A man does how he pleases with his...
Kostya Novotny: Monty, I have beautiful woman, very nice! Monty Brogan: Yeah, well, I'm not really in the mood for that. I've got a nice girl. Kostya Novotny: I know, I know. Tonight is a special night. Last night as free man. I pick her out special,...
Burt Shotton: When I took the Cleveland uniform off two years ago I promised the missus I'd never put on another uniform again. So the roses are beautiful and, uh, I sleep better too. Branch Rickey: Roses and sleep are two wonderful things, Burt. But...
Donald Kaufman: Anyway, listen, I meant to ask you, I need a cool way to kill people. Don't worry, for my script. Charlie Kaufman: I don't write that kind of stuff. Donald Kaufman: Oh, come on, man, please? You're the genius. Charlie Kaufman: Here yo...
Gorman: [Calling Apone over the radio] Look, uh, Apone. [Apone snaps his fingers] Gorman: Look, we can't have any firing in there. I, uh, I want you to collect magazines from everybody. Hudson: Is he fuckin' crazy? Frost: What do you expect us to use...
Genie: [as he is being released] You know, Al, I'm getting really... [notices Jafar] Genie: I don't think you're him. Genie: [reading a script] Tonight the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man. Jafar: I am your master now! ...
Judge Weaver: For the benefit of the jury, but more especially for the spectators, The garment mentioned in the testimony was, to be exact, Mrs. Manion's panties. [spectators roar with laughter] Judge Weaver: I wanted to get your snickering over and ...
Willard: [voice-over] How many people had I already killed? There were those six that I knew about for sure. Close enough to blow their last breath in my face. But this time, it was an American and an officer. That wasn't supposed to make any differe...
Photo Journalist: I wish I had words, man. I wish I had words... I can tell ya something like the other day he wanted to kill me. Somethin' like that... Willard: Why'd he wanna kill you? Photo Journalist: Because I took his picture. He said "If you t...
Dad: I'd only give one piece of advice to anyone marrying. We're all quite similar in the end. We all get old and tell the same tales too many times. But try and marry someone kind. And this is a kind man with a good heart. Dad: I'm not particularly ...
