Lance: Still got your Malibu? Vincent: Aw, man. You know what some fucker did the other day? Lance: What? Vincent: Fucking keyed it. Lance: Oh, man, that's fucked up. Vincent: Tell me about it. I had it in storage for three years, it was out for five...
King: Thirty nine and a wake-up, a pause for the cause, and I'm a gone motherfucker! Back to the world! Crawford: I hear you, man. Broke 100 the other day. King: No shit. Crawford: Ninety-two left to go. April 17, heroes, man. Home to California. I'l...
Foulfellow: [Picks up Pinocchio's schoolbook and apple, which he eats] Well, well. Quite the scholar, I see. Look, Giddy. A man of letters. Here's your book [hands book to Pinocchio] Pinocchio: I'm going to school. Foulfellow: School. Ah, yes. Then p...
Cutter: I saw you, drop the knot again...? Julia McCullough: I think I turned my wrist... Cutter: Some nights you just don't get it, do you? I mean, if that knot slips and Julia's on the hoist, she'll break her leg! Alfred Borden: It's a wrong knot. ...
American GI Cook: Up bright and early, General? Uh, breakfast? Patton: Am I to understand that my officers have already finished eating? American GI Cook: Uh, well, we're open from six to eight. Most of the men are just coming in now. [Indicates two ...
Terry Pugh: [after failing to find his cousin in a phonebook] Must've moved. Probably couldn't have heard him anyway, this goddamn ear's still bleedin'. Don't you ever try that shit again. Robert 'Butch' Haynes: [sternly] What? Terry Pugh: [puzzled] ...
Colorado Ryan: How'd you come out with Burdette? John T. Chance: He wanted to talk to his brother. Colorado Ryan: What'd he have to say? John T. Chance: Nothing. Colorado Ryan: You mean he didn't say anything? John T. Chance: Why are you so intereste...
Father Cavanaugh: [in church] Taking your appeal to a higher authority? Rudy: I'm desperate. If I don't get in next semester, it's over. Notre Dame doesn't accept senior transfers. Father Cavanaugh: Well, you've done a hell of a job kid, chasing down...
John Mooney: Are you disappointed? Charlie: Disappointed? Why should I be disappointed? I got rose bushes didn't I? I got a used car, didn't I? This other guy, what'd you call him? John Mooney: The beneficiary. Charlie: Yeah him, he got $3,000,000 bu...
Bertier: Well, you think I look banged up, you should see my Camaro. Big Ju: Man, I sure am sorry, man. I should have been there with you. Bertier: What are you talking about? You would've been in that bed right next to me. Big Ju: You can't be hurt ...
Fathead Newman: Ray, this fool, Joe Adams, is trying to fine me for being late. Ray Charles: What time did you get here? Fathead Newman: What? Just now. The band's still setting up. Jeff never... Joe Adams: I'm not Jeff. Fathead Newman: That's a fact...
Ray Charles: That's Diz. Emanon! Quincy Jones: Yeah, but what's it spell backwards? Ray Charles: Come on man, why don't you give me something difficult? "No name." Quincy Jones: Say, daddy-o, what axe you play? Ray Charles: Uh, piano. Just blew in fr...
Sefton: Okay, Herr Preisshoffer, let's have the mailbox. Price: The what? Sefton: The one you took out of the corner of your bunk and put in this pocket! [pulls a black queen out of Price's jacket] Sefton: Let me show you how they did it. They did it...
[after learning of the Doomsday Machine] President Merkin Muffley: But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you *build* such a thing? Ambassador de Sadesky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up...
Terence: We wrote one last night outside the mini mart. Morris called it "Stuart Drives A Comfortable Car" and then like in country songs, you know, in parentheses it says "There's Usually Someone in the Trunk." And, and um, I came up with a tune jus...
James T. Kirk: Why is there a man in that torpedo? Khan: There are men and women in all those torpedoes, Captain. I put them there. James T. Kirk: Who the hell are you? Khan: A remnant of a time long past. Genetically engineered to be superior so as ...
[Dragon looms above Donkey] Donkey: Oh, what large teeth you have! [Dragon roars] Donkey: I mean, white sparkly teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something 'cause that's one dazzling smile you go...
Captain von Trapp: Now, Fraulein. I want a truthful answer from you. Maria: Yes, Captain? Captain von Trapp: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my children by any chance been climbing trees today? Maria: Yes, Captain. Captain vo...
Batiatus: Marcus Licinius Crassus. Most noble radiance, first general of the Republic, father and defender of Rome, honour my house. Bless it with your presence. Wine! Sweetmeats! Can't you see that Their Honours are exhausted? Have the goodness to s...
Medic Wade: Actually, the trick to falling asleep is trying to stay awake. Mellish: How is that, Wade? Medic Wade: Well, when my mother was an intern, she used to work late through the night... sleep through the day. So the only time we'd ever get to...
[Spock Prime and Kirk arrive at a derelict Starfleet outpost, and discover... ] Scotty: You realize how unacceptable this is? Spock Prime: Fascinating! Scotty: Okay, I'm sure you're just doing your job, but could you not have come a wee bit sooner? S...
