Draco Malfoy: [looking at Harry's broken nose] Nice face, Potter! [Harry nods disdainfully; Luna pulls out her wand] Luna Lovegood: Would you like me to fix it for you? Personally, I think you look a little more devil-may-care this way, but it's up t...
Lucius Malfoy: [walking with Bellatrix slowly up to Harry] Haven't you always wondered what was the reason for the connection between you and the Dark Lord. Why he was unable to kill you when you were just an infant. Don't you want to know the secret...
[Hermione screams as Grawp grabs her and lifts her up] Rubeus Hagrid: Grawpy, that is not polite! Ron Weasley: Hagrid, do something! Rubeus Hagrid: We talked about this! You do not grab, do you? That is your new friend, Hermione! [Ron swings a tree b...
Catherine: So are you, um... are you seeing anybody? Theodore: Yeah, um, I've been seeing somebody for the last few months. Longest I've wanted to be with somebody since we split up. Catherine: Well, you seem really good. Theodore: Thanks. I, um... a...
Professor McGonagall: Nothing, I repeat, nothing gives a student the right to walk about the school at night. Therefore, as punishment for your actions, 50 points will be taken. Harry: 50? [Ron and Hermione also looking shocked, Draco smirking] Profe...
Manfred: Here's your little bundle of joy. We're returning it to the humans. Sid: Awww, the big bad tigey-wigey gets left behind. Poor Tigey-Wigey. Manfred: Sid, Tigey-Wigey's gonna lead the way. Sid: Uh, Manny, can I-can I-can I talk to you for a se...
Earl Stutz: I'm telling the truth, dang it! It came from outer space. I saw it! And it was headed toward land. I called the government in Washington. Maybe it was a sputnik, or... or an invader from Mars. That's what it is, an invader from Mars! It w...
Richard Scruggs: I know what you're facing, Jeff. And, I think I know how you're feeling. In the Navy I flew A-6's off carriers. In combat, events have a duration of seconds, sometimes minutes. But what you're going through goes on day in and day out...
Bing Bong: [Seeing a memory image of 11-year-old Riley] Whoa. Is this Riley? [Joy looks at the image and nods] Bing Bong: She's so big now. She won't fit in my rocket. How're we gonna get to the moon?" Joy: Oh, it's that time in the twisty tree, reme...
Ray Arnold: Um... It's OK. [looking at one of the computers in the control room] Ray Arnold: Look, see that. It's on. It worked. Dr. Ian Malcolm: What... what do you mean, it worked? Everything's still off. Ray Arnold: Well, maybe the shutdown trippe...
Billy Kramer: Who's gonna read me my bedtime stories? Ted Kramer: Mommy will. Billy Kramer: You're not gonna kiss me good night anymore, are you, Dad? Ted Kramer: No, I won't be able to do that. But, you know, I get to visit. It's gonna be ok, really...
Merlin: Congratulations on completing your first task. Charlie, Roxy, well done. For those of you who are still confused, if you can get a breathing tube through the U-bend of a toilet, you have an unlimited air supply. Simple physics... worth rememb...
Barry the Baptist: [answering his phone] What? Dean: I thought you said there'd be no staff Barry! Barry the Baptist: Did you get those guns? Dean: You wanna see what they did to poor Gary? [calling out to a delirious Gary] Dean: Gary? Gary? Barry th...
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper? Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"? Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir. Brian: Well, what happened? Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir. Brian: Cured? Ex-Le...
Field Marshal Gerd von Rundstedt: This is madness... madness... sheer madness! Major General Gunther Blumentritt: I just talked to General Jodl... the Fuhrer is awake. Field Marshal Gerd von Rundstedt: I don't care if he's awake or not! What about th...
Constance Harraway: You wanna tell me what's up? David Gale: Nothing. Everything. Something profoundly stupid happened last night. Constance Harraway: I hope you used a condom. [David looks at Constance] Constance Harraway: Oh Jesus Christ, David. Wa...
Olive: [going over eye test pamphlets] Mom, Dwayne's got 20/20 vision! Sheryl: I bet he does... Olive: Now, let's see if you're colorblind. [opens the pamphlet] Olive: What's the letter in the circle? [Dwayne looks confused] Olive: No in the circle. ...
Elvis: [Sloe grabs Slevin by the throat and moves him into the living room] The Boss wants to see you. Slevin: Who? Sloe: The Boss. Slevin: Who's the Boss? Sloe: The guy we work for. Slevin: [Sloe let's go of Slevin's throat] Jesus! Elvis: Come here ...
Charlotte: [after Bob tells her of his back pain] I'm in pain, I got my foot banged up. Wanna see it? Bob: [to Chef, sarcastically] How do you say no? [sees the foot] Bob: Oh, my gosh! When did you do this? Charlotte: I did it the other day, it hurts...
Roger Murtaugh: 50 years old, what a birthday, goddamn 50 years old, been on the force 20 years, not a scratch on me, not a scar, got a wife, kids, a house, a fishing boat, but I can kiss all that goodbye because my new partner has a death wish, my f...
Yuri Orlov: Of all the weapons in the vast soviet arsenal, nothing was more profitable than Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947. More commonly known as the AK-47, or Kalashnikov. It's the world's most popular assault rifle. A weapon all fighters love....