John McClane: [huddled in an air vent, recalls his wife's invitation] "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."
John Dunbar: [voice-over] They were a people so eager to laugh, so devoted to family, so dedicated to each other. The only word that comes to mind is harmony.
Mike Zavala: You should marry one of my cousins. Brian Taylor: If they're anything like you, I wouldn't be able to stand a fucking hour with them. [Zavala laughs]
Narrator: [looking at a Calvin Klein ad on a bus] Is that what a man looks like? Tyler Durden: [laughs] Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction...
Private Eightball: Oh, sheeit! [laughs] Private Eightball: This baby-san looks like she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
Charles: It's so important to prioritize. Theodore: I can't even prioritize between video games and Internet porn. Amy: I would laugh if that weren't true.
Rory Breaker: Is this some white cunts joke that black cunts don't get? 'Cause I'm not fucking laughing Nicholas.
Jonathan Mardukas: You're OK, Jack. I think... under different circumstances you and I probably still would have hated each other! [Both laugh loudly]
Leader of the hunt: I don't understand these animal psychologists. What is Dr. Zira trying to prove? Dr. Zaius: That man can be domesticated. [the hunt leader begins to laugh in disbelief]
Sgt. Schulz: How do you expect to win the war with an army of clowns? Lt. James Skylar Dunbar: We sort of hope you'd laugh yourselves to death.
Frank Lopez: Lesson number one: Don't underestimate the other guy's greed! [laughing] Elvira Hancock: Lesson number two: Don't get high on your own supply.
Jack Rafferty: [with his hand cut, and one of Miho's shuriken in his butt, while crawling to pick up his hand] This isn't funny... don't anybody laugh.
Mitch: I like you to be exactly the way that you are, because in all my experience, I have never known anyone like you. [Blanche laughs suddenly]
Rapunzel: Too weak to handle myself out there, huh, Mother? [starts twirling frying pan] Rapunzel: Well... [laughs] Rapunzel: ...tell that to my frying pa... [accidentally hits herself with pan]
[last lines] Captain: This is called farming! You kids are gonna grow all kinds of plants! Vegetable plants, pizza plants. [laughs] Captain: Oh, it's good to be home!
Dorothy: Weren't you frightened? Wizard of Oz: Frightened? Child, you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe... I was petrified.
Donnie Azoff: Jordan, it's fucking good, right? It's fucked up. Jordan Belfort: GET OFF THE PHONE! GET OFF THE PHONE! FBI! Donnie Azoff: [laughing] I'm on the phone!
Color Sgt. Bourne: [doing roll call] Hughes! Hughes: Excused duty! [the soldiers begin to laugh] Color Sgt. Bourne: No comedians, please. Hughes. Hughes: Yes, Colour Sergeant.
There's different kinds of laughs. It's like a baseball lineup: this guy's your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we're gonna win.
Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call 'lightly religious.' So I don't buy the notion that we can't laugh about religion in America.
I really, really, really want to do a silly romantic comedy where I can just have a crush on the guy, trip over myself, and laugh and be goofy. I just feel like all I do is cry, sob, and fight zombies and the bad guys.
