I could not sit seriously down to write a serious Romance under any other motive than to save my life, & if it were indispensable for me to keep it up & never relax into laughing at myself or other people, I am sure I should be hung before I had fini...
Where did you get that assault weapon?" "Assault weapon?" Zach turned his head to look at her. "Well, lookey there. You're cute when you blush." Maddie's face grew hotter, but at least he'd mistaken the reason for her embarrassment. Zach turned his f...
This one time in Year Eight we had to write on butcher’s paper how we’d like people to see us. Remember ours? We were like, ‘We don’t want people to see us as leaders or heroes or anything out of the ordinary. We just want them to see us as o...
Someone real," I hear myself saying. "Someone who never has to pretend, and who I never have to pretend around. Someone who's smart, but knows how to laugh at himself. Someone who would listen to a symphony and start to cry, because he understands mu...
That's when I caught my first glimpse of Blaine Crabtree. He was sandwiched in between two guys that were laughing at who knows what. At first I didn't notice anything but a big mop of bleached blonde hair, then he looked up from his pack of cloves a...
Veeva should count her blessings. Three years ago it was cocaine and a year ago it was crack and lemme tell you, that stuff you got to have. You do anything for that high." He laughed again, savoring his memories. "Where do you think the furniture we...
Oh good, you’re ready.” “No, I’ve only just got out of the bath. What should I put on?” “Put on?” he says in obvious mystification. “Well I’ve only got a towel on.” When he still doesn’t get it I sigh. God, he’s so dense somet...
isaac knows how stupid i find these things, and he finds them just as stupid as i do. like lol. now, if there's anything stupider than buddy lists, it's lol. if anyone ever uses lol with me, i rip my computer right out of the wall and smash it over t...
Aw, come on, admit it—you feel like Cinderella, don’t you?” “No, Darren, I don’t. And do you know why?” “No, sugar, you tell me why.” “Because I’m a man. I’ve got a big fat one and I like to fuck other guys.” Darren was laughi...
Who gets to be the judge of reality? If it was deeply felt, believed, spoken about often or altered your life course, then it was real enough. Faith doesn't get the luxury of all those things one hundred percent of the time, but we call that normal b...
You can carry around with you a basket full of magical apples; but when people do not recognize magic, they will ask you to go and pick earthly apples and then they will laugh at you when you are unable to pick the apples of the earth; but what they ...
Vincent: They project onto you their flaws, what they don't like about themselves. I had a father like that. Max: Mothers are worse. Vincent: Wouldn't know. My mother died before I remember her. Max: What about your father? Vincent: Hated everything ...
Lambeau: [attempting to prove to Sean that his interest in Will is not about fame] Tim, can you help us? We're trying to settle a bet. Tim: Uh-oh. Lambeau: Ever heard of Jonas Salk? Tim: Sure, cured polio. Lambeau: And you've heard of Albert Einstein...
Det. Bill Mitchell: Hey Keith, let me see your shoe. Keith Frazier: What? Det. Bill Mitchell: Lemme see your shoe. Keith Frazier: Why? Det. Bill Mitchell: 'Cause I have never seen anyone put their foot that far up a guy's ass. Keith Frazier: [Busts o...
Scott Smith: [Harvey and Scott are finally sitting down to dinner] Don't say ANYTHING. Harvey Milk: [tucks his napkin under the collar of his shirt, eats a bite] Can I just tell you... Scott Smith: If you say anything, about politics, or the campaign...
General: But of course warfare isn't all fun. Right, stop that! It's all very well to laugh at the military, but when one considers the meaning of life, it is a struggle between alternative viewpoints of life itself. And without the ability to defend...
Jonathan Mardukas: Why don't you put the cigarette out. Jack Walsh: Why don't you shut up and leave me alone? Jonathan Mardukas: Put the cigarette out, Jack. Jack Walsh: What a... Jonathan Mardukas: Put the cigarette out. Jack Walsh: [laughing, motio...
Elizabeth Bennet: Are you too proud Mr. Darcy? And would you consider pride a fault or a virtue? Mr. Darcy: That I couldn't say. Elizabeth Bennet: Because we're doing our best to find a fault in you. Mr. Darcy: Maybe it's that I find it hard to forgi...
Teacher: What have we here, laddie? Mysterious scribblings? A secret code? No! Poems, no less! Poems, everybody! [classmates laughs] Teacher: The laddie reckons himself a poet! [reads poem from Pink's little black book] Teacher: "Money, get back / I'...
Mickey: I'll bet you for it. Tommy: You'll what? Pikeys: HE'LL BET YOU FOR IT! Turkish: What, like Tommy did last time? Do me a favour? Mickey: I'll do you a favour. You have first bet. If I win, I get a caravan... and the boys get a pair of them sho...
Billy Ray Valentine: [after breaking a vase] Hey, sorry about that. Randolph Duke: It's perfectly all right William. It was your vase. Billy Ray Valentine: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right? Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000...
