Dr. John Watson: What of Mary? Palm Reader: M for Mary. For marriage. Oh, you will be married! Dr. John Watson: [nodding his head slowly] Go on. Palm Reader: [looking intensely at Watson's palm] Oh, I see pattern tablecloth and... Oh, china figurines...
C-3PO: At last, Master Luke's come to rescue me! Bib Fortuna: Master. [Jabba wakes up with a start] Bib Fortuna: May I present Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight? Jabba the Hutt: I told you not to admit him! Luke: I must be allowed to speak. Bib Fortuna: He...
[At Q's lab, Q and Tanner try to create a false trail for Silva to follow] Q: It's a fine line. If the breadcrumb's too small, then he might miss it. Too big, and Silva will smell a rat. Tanner: Yes, but you'd think even Silva will be able to spot th...
Saavik: Admiral, may I ask you a question? Kirk: What's on your mind, Lieutenant? Saavik: The Kobayashi Maru, sir. Kirk: Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now? Saavik: On the test, sir... will you tell me what you did? I would real...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [RE: What they found on Miranda] This record here's about twelve years old. Parliament buried it and it stayed buried until River here dug it up. This is what they were afraid she knew. And they were right to fear. There's a u...
The Operative: I'm sorry. If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to. You should have taken my offer. Or did you think none of this was your fault? Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I don't murder children. The Operative: I do. If I have to. Capt....
Jayne Cobb: We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode! Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms. Jayne Cobb: I just get excitable as to choice- like to have my options open. Capt. Malcolm Reynol...
Kikuchiyo: What do you think of farmers? You think they're saints? Hah! They're foxy beasts! They say, "We've got no rice, we've no wheat. We've got nothing!" But they have! They have everything! Dig under the floors! Or search the barns! You'll find...
[singing] Sweeney Todd: Alright! You, sir? How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend Sweeney! You sir! Too, sir. Welcome to the grave... I will have vengeance. I will have salvation... Who, sir? You sir!No one's in the chair. Come on, come o...
[Sweeney Todd enters Mrs. Lovett's Pie Shop] Mrs. Lovett: A customer! [starts singing] Mrs. Lovett: Wait! What's your rush? / What's your hurry? / You gave me such a... / Fright. I thought you was a ghost. / Half a minute, can'tcha? / Sit! Sit you do...
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: [singing] I am Adolfo Pirelli, da king of da barbers, da barber of kings, e buon giorno, good day. I blow you a kiss! And I, the so famous Pirelli, I wish-a to know who has-a da nerve-a to say my Elixir is piss! Who says this? ...
[Anthony barges into the barbershop, not realizing that Todd and the Judge are there] Anthony Hope: Mr. Todd! I'm running away with Johanna! She'll marry me Sunday! [He stops short as he sees the judge in the barber's chair] Anthony Hope: [the Judge ...
[Figuring out which con to pull on Lonnegan] J.J. Singleton: I dunno know what to do with this guy, Henry. He's an Irishman who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and doesn't chase dames. He's a grand knight in the Knights of Columbus, and he only goes ou...
Spock Prime: You are, in fact, the Mr. Scott who postulated the theory of transwarp beaming? Scotty: That's what I'm talking about! How do you think I wound up here? Had a little debate with my instructor on relativistic physics and how it pertains t...
Christopher Pike: Mr. Spock, I'm leaving you in command of the Enterprise. Once we have transport capability and communications back up, you'll contact Starfleet and report what the hell's going on here. And if all else fails, fall back, rendezvous w...
Dr. Josiah Boone: Seems to me I knew your family, Henry. Didn't I fix your arm once when you, oh, bumped off a horse? Ringo Kid: Are you Doc Boone? Dr. Josiah Boone: I certainly am. Ah, let's see... I'd just been honorably discharged from the Union A...
[Lamia is about to cut out Yvaine's heart] Tristan: Yvaine, hold me tight and think of home. [Tristan lights his Babylon candle. They escape, but end up on a cloud in the middle of nowhere] Tristan: What the hell did you do? Yvaine: What did *I* do? ...
[outside the witches' castle] Septimus: [as he holds a sword to Tristan's throat] Who are you? What business do you have here? Tristan: [he sees the number 7 mark on Septimus' hand] Septimus... I knew your brother, Primus. Septimus: Unless you wish t...
Saddam Hussein: Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing. Cartman: Hey, don't call me fat buttfucker! [rays shoot from malfunctioning V-chip and kill a demon from hell] Stan: Do it Cartman! Do it! Ca...
Cartman: [singing] Well, Kyle's mom is a big, fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. / On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, o...
[demonstrating a "V-Chip" planted into Cartman] Dr. Vosknocker: Now, I want you to say "doggy". Cartman: Doggy. Dr. Vosknocker: [to audience] Notice, that nothing happens. [to Cartman] Dr. Vosknocker: Now, say "Montana". Cartman: Montana. Dr. Vosknoc...
